Absynthe & Arsenic

Happy Imbolc!

2012-02-02T08:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Imbolc my darlings! =D

Today is such a wonderful day! We're half way through the Winter, almost to Spring. I love the Winter. I love the dark, the introspection... the feeling of everything sleeping, resting, renewing, waiting... But I am so excited for Spring, I might pop. Spring bursts forth after the Earth has a chance to chill out (no pun intended... o_O) and rejuvenate from all the hard work she's done in the past year. And burst forth she does!

It's like a dam bursting almost... it starts with a trickle... almost unnoticeable. A crocus here... some snowdrops there... tiny buds on the trees, so small you might not see them at all.

And then WHAM!

Spring explodes, the dam bursts wide & everything is filled with colors & smells of newness. How fucking awesome? Totally awesome.

Sooooo... What are you doing today (or yesterday or tomorrow or whenever) for Imbolc? Is there anything you do every year? Do you just wing it & do what you feel like? =D

I tend to fall into the last category of "winging it". I try to plan things to do, make a list of stuff I'd like to buy (usually candles are on this list...), but never make it to the store. Or the holiday I'm wanting to buy stuff for falls in between paydays and I have no money... lolz... story of my life, that. So anyways, I just wing it. ^-^

This usually works better for me anyways. I go in with an idea, a half formed thought, a daydream, and then weave my magic from there. I love it, it's terribly satisfying. ^-^

Sometimes I wish I were better at planning out rituals so I could write them down in my BOS... but that just doesn't seem to work for me... I partially love this & partially hate this, but it's the way it is & I've stopped fighting myself & have accepted it. ^-^

So! On my docket for today, in honor of Imbolc & becuase I love myself & my home & my family, it's cleaning day. Yay!

All the windows are thrown open, letting in the chilly, wonderful smelling air. I'm making a list of things that need to be done to get my home clean. And I mean holy-hella-uber clean. It's strangely become almost a ritual to me to deep clean our home. If feels like sacred space to me, when everything is well taken care of. I feel like when I keep my home clean, I have more room in it for things like laughter, joy, crafting & magic. When it's messy or dirty (like now), everything feels smothered & the energy is sluggish... to say the least. Blech.

Onto cleaning! Which, of course, is always accompanied by music, dancing around my apartment & loud singing... I almost pity my neighbors... almost. ^_~

Well then, I'm off. I hope you all have a most wonderful day today, whether you're celebrating Imbolc or not. I feel myself bursting with love & positive energy, the likes I haven't felt for weeks... or months. So I'm sending it through the aether to all of YOU. You who are my family, friends, loved ones, support group & cheer squad. You who give me lots of reasons to be happy & give me inspiration, whether mundane or magical. I madly love all y'all, and hope you can feel me smiling at you through your computer screen & giving you hugs & hearing me laugh with complete and utter joy.

Imbolc blessings!

XOXO

PS... Thank you to everyone who gave me words of encouragement in my last post. I fucking <3 you. And I'll be outta there on June 19. W00t!

This is ridiculous... (rant warning)

2012-01-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm so upset, I'm near tears. I called out sick from work last night, but my manager apparently doesn't use her cell phone on weekends & didn't get the message I left for her. Therefore, I got a call this afternoon from her asking why I decided not to show up for work last night.

Um, what?

I told her I left her a message. She told me I'm not supposed to use her cell on weekends, but her pager. Then she told me that she'd checked her cell, and there was no message from me. So essentially I get a no call, no show on my record. Fanfuckingtabulous.

It would have been nice to know I'm not only supposed to use her damn pager on weekends, but that I'm also supposed to call or text our pseudo-manager. Awesome.

When I first started, we called out sick to the Staffing office. Then, the ball got dropped & we had to call our staffing lead, who is kind of like our mini-manager. OK. Not a problem. Then, we were told we have to call out to our manager (so she can grill us on why we're sick). This is also fine, but now I'm told I need to call all of the above? Why the hell should I have to call all three places now to call in sick? This is completely asinine. On top of this, I'm apparently the only person who didn't know my manager doesn't carry her damn cell on weekends. Please pardon my lack of inherent knowledge of my manager's order of communicative devices, depending on day of the week.

Since my first job at 15, I have never, never not called out if I wasn't going to be there, and it's always been far sooner than the 2 hrs before shift rule. Always.

It's irritating to me that she expected me to know to use her fucking pager instead of cell phone (which she's previously claimed never leaves her side & to always call it), but the thing that I'm actually angry about is her claim that I didn't call her or leave her a message.

Fucking enraged at this. And hurt. I mean I know we're almost worthless to her as people, but really? This is even lower than I expected of her. Of all the shit she's thrown my way, this is the most insulting. And the best part? Even though I've got proof I was on the phone with her phone for 52 seconds on Sunday at 09:41 am, it doesn't matter. Because she's never wrong. Even when she is.

Organization Time!

2012-01-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

The Mortician's Wife has issued a challenge! And although she's about half way through her challenge to herself, I'm joining in. I've been ruminating on how disorganized my apartment is... I can easily blame it on my lack of storage, cupboards, shelves, whatever. Or on my sweety, whose nursing books, notebooks, homework, random school shit, whatever, take up half the living room. Or that I've got too much craft shit for such a tiny apartment. However, the real reason our place is always such a fucking catastrophe is because we're disorganized & don't do the little things each day that need to be done in order for the mountains of dishes & laundry not to pile up. I'm hoping that getting some help getting organized will help get me motivated to keep things up better. ^-^

Also, there's the MOVE, looming ever closer. I've set a deadline for this. We'll be renting the truck for two days. June 30th we'll load up and then July 1st we'll drive down to Portland & unload. I feel good about having this date set, having a concrete deadline to work towards. I desperately want this move to go as smoothly as possible, so I know that getting my shit together & getting organized is key to this desire.

Thank gods & goddesses that there's a lady out there who is gifted with organizational skills! =D

Well then. This is Day 1's post, although I'm considering yesterday Day 1.

Day 1 was making a list of pros & cons to doing this challenge. I've been mulling over these for the past few days, but I'm just now putting my pen to paper, so to speak. ^-^

PROS:
*I'll have a place for everything, and I'll actually know where it is when I need it.
*I'll have less mess to deal with, because I'll have places to put things, and hopefully be able to weed out things I truly do not need.
*I'll feel better. It's true. When my house is a mess, I'm a mess. When my house is clean and organized, I feel mentally more stable & far happier. All the antidepressants in the world don't make me feel as good as I do when my house is loved & well cared for.
*I feel like crafting, painting, writing, etc. when my house is clean. When it's a mess, I don't want to do anything but hide under my covers in my bed.

CONS:
*This will take work & dedication. Sometimes I'm incredibly lazy, and don't want to do anything.
*I'm good at getting things done (once I actually get around to doing them), but terrible at keeping them up. This is why my house continually cycles from clean for a few days to a disaster for a few weeks.

I feel my pros decidedly trump my cons, which are bad habits I need to eradicate from my life anyways. What better place & time to start?

And with that, we're on to Day 2!
Here I go, wish me luck! =D

XOXO

SNOW

2012-01-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

Just a quickie before I dash off to a friend's house to help her print photos at the drug store so she can make a collage for her hubby for their anniversary. ^-^

Guess what?!?!?!?!?

It's SNOWING!!! =D

I ate my first snowflakes of the year this morning when I got home from work. ^-^

For some reason, watching the snow fall relaxes me... unless it's a howling blizzard of course. Then not so much. ^_~

Anywho! My ridiculously over-caffeinated self is off to print pictures. Hope you all are having a fantastic day, and hopefully I'll be awake enough at work tonight to write a proper post. ^-^

XOXO

Antidepressants & a Monkey.

2012-01-13T01:31:00.000-08:00

I had many wonderful plots & plans for the beginning of this new year. Of course, nothing has turned out quite how I planned it (big surprise, I know...)

I finally chose my One Word, which is "Follow-through" btw, which is why if I promised you a holiday card, it's still coming... just late (another big surprise I'm sure.)

There's been so much going on that I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. Ok, completely overwhelmed, in ways I've never been before. I think part of this problem is that several weeks ago I went to the doctor for my med check up. Everything was going well and I was quite happy with my medication & dosage. Then the doc (she's actually a nurse practioner, but whatever) told me that the pharmacist had called her & told her that she'd put me on too high a dose of citalopram. Um, excuse me, what? Apparently the highest dose is 40mg, but she had me on 60mg. She said that even though I was suffering no adverse side effects, we either had to lower the dose (which hadn't worked & was why we upped it to begin with) or try a new medication. So now I'm taking buproprion. This seems to be working as far as I can tell, so I'm not complaining. My only problem is that now I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the citalopram.

My only symptom seems to be shockwaves that seem to run from my head out through my hands & abdomen. This is mostly just annoying, but now almost any time I move, stand up, sit down, whatever, the shockwaves just radiate out. If I move too much, they make me nauseous. I was doing some research & found that side effects from stopping SSRIs last from a few days to a few weeks or months. Usually not any longer.

I've also been feeling the past few days like bursting into tears at random. This is fine at home, where I can openly cry to my heart's content & have an understanding partner. When I'm at work, however, it's more difficult. In bed meeting tonight I'm almost had tears leak out. I couldn't get out of that room fast enough. Sigh.

I've been avoiding my blog, because I didn't want to write anything while I was feeling crappy & feel like I've once again let people down by not getting my holiday cards out on time. It's made me feel a wee bit better knowing that I'm getting them their cards, even if they're massively late. It also makes me feel better to know that everything I do this year will be done with my One Word in mind. That is my biggest goal, to finish what I start, to do what I say I will, and to do these things in a timely fashion, whatever that may be.

I'm glad I didn't wait any longer to come back to my corner here, and now sitting here at my desk at work I feel a little better. I'm trying not to cry again (this is getting ridiculous...) and have my mini laptop resting on the awesome valentine's day gorilla that Britt brought me. ^-^

He's awesome. Wearing red boxers & holding a rose. Her visit tonight perked me up considerably.

Ok... now that I've got all that shit off my chest, I feel so much better. I wonder why it is when I need my blog the most I hide from it? I don't know. But hopefully in the future I'll use my blog for the reasons I started it: as a place to clear my mind & a place where I can just be me, good, bad or ugly.

Here's me & my monkey:

Alrighty. I'm off to indulge myself & catch up on all the blogs I've been missing. My monkey & I are going to sit here & drink coffee & read blogs until I have to actually get to work. ^-^

I've missed you guys & am happy to be back here again.

XOXO

Last Post of 2011

2011-12-31T23:00:00.000-08:00

Yes indeed, this post finds me at precisely one hour til 2012. This year has been a mostly good year. Even the not so great parts have fostered growth, and I can't ask for more than that.

I'm at work again tonight, and at midnight will head down to the ER to spend the first few moments with Britt (as long as she's not cleaning wounds or something... ^_~)

I've been insanely stressed & overwhelmed the past few days, and have felt completely helpless to change anything. I decided this morning before I went to bed that that was not what I wanted for myself. I wanted to start the new year in a positive way, not as the negative doom cloud I had been for the past week. When I woke up this evening, I felt amazingly refreshed & light. I was without any stress & without the headache that's been plaguing me for the past few days. I feel hopeful & happy. ^-^

Britt & I have a lot to do in the next few months, but I'll get to that in my New Year's post. ^-^

I'm also working on picking my Word for 2012. I've got the idea of what I want, but am now contemplating the perfect word to encompass the idea.

Alrighty then... I hope all of you are having a wonderful night. This has been a wonderful year with y'all, and I hope this coming year is even better. ^-^

Love & hugs & toasts of fizzy drinks. =D

Happy New Year my sweets.

XOXO

Simple Womyn's Daybook

2011-12-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY, Sunday, December 25th, 2011

Outside my window... The wind is blowing madly. I haven't checked the weather yet, but I have a feeling we're in for a bit of a storm. This is one of my favorite kinds of weather though... I can feel the power carried on the wind, eddying about.

I am thinking... About not a lot at the moment. ^-^ Just relaxing here, while my pie bakes. It's so nice to just be calm & content & feel relaxed. I don't have a lot of moments like this, so I am enjoying this to the fullest. ^-^

I am thankful... For my family, friends & kitties. They make my life brighter & warmer.

In the kitchen... My second apple pie is baking. I made cookies last night for our Occupy Bellingham camp (figured they could use some holiday cheer, with the weather we have here ^_~), made a pie for one of the ladies I work with & am now baking the one we'll eat for dessert this afternoon.

I am wearing... My purple slippers & a silky robe. Wishing my robe was longer... warmer. May go trade in the robe for my footy pajamas...

I am creating... Holiday cards... yeah, I know. I'm late, as per usual. Lolz... I'm also going to start a cross stitch based on a pic I saw online. I think I'll probably bring that with me to the in-laws' this afternoon.

I am going... to Britt's parents' house this afternoon, and then to a family friend's house this evening.

I am wondering... if we're gonna get snow, or if it's just going to be rainy & windy.

I am reading... The House of Dark Shadows by Robert Liparulo. I thought it was a one shot story, only to realize it's a series. YAY!!! =D

I am hoping... my heater isn't broken... I accidentally tripped on the cats' water dish last night, kicked it toward the heater (which sits on the kitchen floor) and soaked my leg, both of Britt's legs & the whole damn heater... yeesh. That was about 8 hrs ago, and it still won't turn on, despite my not being able to find any trace of water in it. Le sigh...

I am looking forward to... getting my info packet from the Oregon Culinary Institute. We may be heading to Portland after Britt graduates in March, so I can attend school there. I'm excited & utterly terrified. Mostly excited. ^-^

I am hearing... the WIND. @_@ Holy bloomers, Batman, it's really gusting out there. Just got a call from Britt's folks that their power is out. Lolz... Puget Power usually gets it turned back on pretty quickly though. Car alarms keep going off as branches bonk them or huge wind gusts rock them. The dumpster lid at the apartment complex next door keeps getting blown open (BAM!) and shut (KABAM!!!). My bamboo wind chimes are clacking like mad. I kept hearing my wreath smack against the front door, so I nabbed it & hung it inside. Just until the wind blows over. ^-^

Around the house... it's a bit of a mess, but that's pretty par for the course around here. ^-^ We did some good cleaning & scrubbing yesterday, but there's always at least one art project going on here. We've decided that our place is part office, part art studio, part tacky 70's hotel room... lolz. The office & art studio are from us, the 70's hotel room is just the way this place is built. XD

I am pondering... what it will be like to go to school for something I'm interested in & love. I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around it. I'm so excited & so nervous... But Britt's being so wonderful & totally supportive. When I mentioned that I was interested in this school, she immediately jumped online to look at job opportunities for her in the area. She said we will go wherever I want for school. I love that my sweety is so supportive & wonderful. ^-^

One of my favorite things... is the "Poor college student mocha"... Because I'm using candy cane hot cocoa, I get a Poor college student peppermint mocha. Oooo... Aaaahhhh... W00t.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Finish up holiday cards!!! Mail them! Read my book, cross stitch, snuggle my kitties & buy some candy canes (because I forgot again yesterday... @_@)

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Lovelovelove Simon's Cat... =3

Happy holidays my lovelies. I hope everyone is having a marvelous day. ^-^

XOXO

hosted by The Simple Woman's Daybook

Simple Womyn's Daybook

2011-12-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY, Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Outside my window... It's quiet & cold. The clouds hold promise of snow or rain. I've been cleaning up my porch, getting things ready for Winter. There's still a LOT to do.

I am thinking... A whole jumble of things. My mind feels like an out of control carousel, which is why I'm here... I find this very relaxing, following prompts but still being able to just kind of ramble on.

I am thankful... for having a place to write & ramble & vent when need be.

In the kitchen... as always there's dishes to be done, but I'll get to those shortly. There's fresh coffee in the pot, spiced with cinnamon. It tastes like Winter, but warm.

I am wearing... camo pants & a black tshirt with a pic of an astronaut handing a balloon to a big, fuzzy monster. <3

I am creating... a bunch of stuff. ^-^ I've just finished cutting out snowflakes, now I'll spray paint the backs of them & add glitter before hanging them from my ceiling. I'm working on my mini village & making holiday cards as well. I've also been working on a big (for me, anyways) canvas. I had no idea what I wanted to put on it, but did the background & edges. It's turned out perfect to put a sugar skull on. I'm excited. ^-^

I am going... to work tonight, and am not looking forward to it. Aside from that, I'm feeling like I'm going a bit crazy(er).

I am wondering... why I can't get my shit together... meh.

I am reading... Bite Me, by Parker Blue. Kinda cheesy, kinda tacky, but kinda awesome. ^_~

I am hoping... that this week of work will be uneventful. Boring, even.

I am looking forward to... visiting Desty & the teacup human tomorrow after work. Yay! =D

I am hearing... lots of computer key clacking. Britt's writing a paper for school & I'm blogging.

Around the house... kitties are snoring, Phiphi's trying his best to combust by laying as close as possible to the heater, Britt's at her desk writing that paper (she's almost finished), and I'm about to proof read what she's already written.

I am pondering... what to go to school for. I have decided that nursing is not for me. At least not right now. Culinary Arts is looking good though.

One of my favorite things... is candy cane hot cocoa.

A few plans for the rest of the week: work, clean, try & figure out how to get my shit together...

Here is picture for thought I am sharing... Love this! =D

Check out their website for more awesomeness! =D

And don't forget to pop by The Simple Woman's Daybook for all the other posts. ^-^

XOXO

Good morning...

2011-11-28T23:29:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering if a person's negativity can be passed to someone else just by being near them... Britt had a really bad day today & now is sound asleep. I'm hoping she wakes up in a better mood, and I'm assuming she will, as her negativity seemed to jump from her to me as we slept today... o_O

On the bright side, even though I'm feeling super down & all emo, I'm not going to just wallow in it. ^-^
I'm finally going to bake that damn turkey (yay!) and get going on my itty bitty holiday village. =D

I've also got massive amounts of kitty muvs coming my way. I love my cats. I don't know what I'd do without them. ^-^

Enchiladas are cooking at the moment (only 16 minutes left...), and once I eat dinner I'll get going on the bird.

Alrighty... off to find my recipe from Witchin' in the Kitchen for Moroccan Spiced Honey Roast Chicken, so I can use it to make my turkey. ^-^ I'm soooooo excited to use this recipe for my turkey! I can't wait to tell you how it turns out. =D

Hmmm... already feeling less emo. Huzzah for blogging for therapy. XD

Hope you all had a marvelous Thanksgiving (or just a marvelous day, depending on where you live ^_~)

If I didn't say it before, I'm so very thankful for all the wonderful people & friends I've met via Blogger. You all enrich my life & inspire me. I love you all to pieces!

Have a most awesome night & I shall post pics of turkey & pie making soon. ^-^

XOXO

2011-11-26T07:55:00.000-08:00

I have spent all night baking. ^-^
Britt & I are heading up to her folks' house this morning & we're having our Thanksgiving dinner today. This way her sister, hubby & the teacup human can be there too.

Speaking of the teacup human... he's walking now. @_@
It's so super awesome. =D And he's getting more & more fun to play with... I can't wait to take him to the zoo!

Anywho... I baked an apple pie from scratch & made peanut butter bonbons... I do have pics, but my camera's packed up already. They'll have to make it into an upcoming post. ^-^

Well then... Just popped in to say Hi & bye for the weekend. I kinda hate not having internet at her parents' place... but oh well. I'm taking my book & my spinning with me. ^-^

Oh yeah... and Britt's dad said that we're going to have a Resident Evil marathon... =D
I haven't seen the most recent one, so I'm excited. I didn't especially like the 3rd one, so I'm hoping this one's better. We shall see!

I'm off to pack up my pie, but I shall come poke you all when I get back to my internet on Sunday night or Monday. Have a wonderful weekend!!! ^-^

XOXO

Hecate's Night

2011-11-16T16:09:00.000-08:00

As the cold wind blows, shaking the last remaining leaves from the trees...

As the sky darkens & the steel grey clouds hold a promise of snow...

As the sun sets this evening, we honor the Goddess Hecate. Goddess of crossroads, magic, Witches & spirits. She who holds power over land, sky & sea. She who keeps Persephone company through the cold Winter months in the Underworld. The Triple Goddess who can see in all directions. Blessings to you all on this cold, windy night.

XOXO

The Simple Womyn's Nightbook

2011-11-15T22:09:00.000-08:00

Figured I'd tweak the title to fit when I'm actually posting this. ^_~

For tonight, Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Outside my window... It's dark & cold. The sky was clear & gorgeous all day, so there's no clouds to hold in any tiny bit of heat. Brrrrr... But the stars seem to shine more brightly, twinkle more wonderfully, the colder it is.

I am thinking... About not a lot at the moment. I'm pretty relaxed. There's a few thoughts about permaculture & house cleaning bouncing around in my head, but nothing really at the forefront of my mind.

I am thankful... Tonight I'm thankful for the people at Jasper Hall, and all they are doing (and have done). People & places like Jasper Hall give me hope. (More on Jasper Hall later)

In the kitchen... The kitchen is quietly waiting for me to come & tidy up. Dishes to be done (as always), counters to be wiped down, but luckily I have a patient kitchen.

I am wearing... Jeans & a t-shirt. And orange & black stripped socks. Contemplating grabbing a sweater, as it's kinda chilly in here...

I am creating... 100 faces. A while ago I got the book Drawing Lab for Mixed Media Artists. It's super awesome, but I've been ignoring it for a while. So the other day I picked it back up, found a small sketchbook that wasn't being used for anything else & set out to create 100 faces in all kinds of ways. I've done about five so far I think. It's fun & relaxing, especially since there's no pressure to make the faces look realistic. Which is good, as me & realism don't get along so well... ^-^

I am going... nowhere in particular, and am quite satisfied with that.

I am wondering... How many years it will be until Britt & I can get a house of our own. I love our apartment, but I'm craving a space that is ours, that we can do with what we like, and that I can have a nice BIG garden on. Someday... I know that much. Until then, I'll be patient & love my tiny apartment with the big porch. ^-^

I am reading... The Sacred Balance by David Suzuki. Several years ago I took a class called Engery: Uses & Consequences. Along with the Environmental Ethics class I took that same quarter, they are the single most influential courses I've ever taken. My class was encouraged to attend a lecture by David Suzuki, and it was amazing. I bought a book while there & he signed it for me. ^-^

I am hoping... that Britt & I will be successful in our efforts to live more sustainably. Yes, I know this seems to be a theme tonight, but what can I say... this is never far from my mind. I cleaned out our fridge earlier this evening before heading to the store, and I'm appalled at the amount of food I had to throw out. It made me sick to my stomach how much we wasted, mostly because it got tucked in a crisper drawer & forgotten about, or pushed to the back of the fridge & forgotten about. My goal for the rest of the year (and ever after) is to have zero waste due to food going bad because we forgot about it or 'lost' it in the fridge. This is no longer acceptable to me to have happen. Period.

I am looking forward to... Britt's Winter break from school. I miss my sweety! She goes to school 8 hours a day, then has several hours of homework. She's working so hard & doing so well, but we're both sick of not having very much time together. She's terribly excited for her break as well... yesterday she was all giddy at the prospect of being able to sit down & read a book that had absolutely nothing to do with nursing. ^-^

I am hearing... four kitties snoring up a storm. Lazy bums...

Around the house... all is quiet but for my clacking computer keys & soft little kitty snores.

I am pondering... why I tend to plan tons of fun crafts & art projects, but never get around to actually doing them. I'm working on this. An author I like (Chuck Wendig) tweeted a quote earlier this evening that could have been directly to me: "If we expend our energy trying not to fail, not only will we never succeed, but the result is artistic paralysis."

Truer words never spoken. This is why my 100 faces project is so important to me. I frequently get caught up in the way that my art seems to get stuck somewhere between my imagination & my hands, so never turns out quite how I intend it. This drives me bonkers. I'm working really hard on not letting it bother me, and just accepting what I create for what it is. <3

One of my favorite things... is candy cane hot cocoa. Liquid awesome.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I head back to work tomorrow night (well, tomorrow morning to be precise, as I've got a staff meeting at 0730. Ick...) Aside from that, I'm planning on finishing up my book, working on my 100 faces & making sure I cook dinner every night. This is very important to me, as I feel home cooked meals & sit down dinners are essential to familial happiness & well being. ^-^

Here is picture for thought I am sharing... Actually, it's a video. The video's about Jasper Hall. It's a half hour long, but it will be one of the best, most uplifting, hope inspiring half hours of your life. I am inspired & awed. If there's any kind of heaven, this is what mine will be. This is paradise. This is how I want to live, this is my dream, my heart's desire.

Jasper Hall

Jasper Hall, 2010, by Martin Voll 32 min from jasperhall on Vimeo.

I ran across this video on Subsistence Pattern, a wonderful blog. Check it out! They're inspiring as well ^-^

As always, thank you so very much to Peggy for hosting the wonderful Simple Woman's Daybook. Check out the link to see all the other lovely participants! =D

Hoping you all are snug as bugs in rugs as the weather turns icy & we forge on into the darkest part of the year. May you embrace the darkness & not fear it. We are creatures of both darkness and light, to deny any part of ourselves is to deny wholeness, fullness, completeness. Love the darkness & she in turn will show you love.

Love & hugs my darlings.

XOXO

The Simply Woman's Daybook

2011-11-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

For today, November 3rd, 2011

Outside my window... Is me. I'm spending as much time on my porch as possible, even though it's chilly. Macha's out here with me, on her leash (just in case she takes a leap off the porch, I'll be able to reel her back in. Goddess forbid @_@) The sun is shining & there's only a few fluffy, white clouds here & there. It's so beautiful! the leaves on the trees are turning gold & orange & red. It smells crisp and clean and wonderful.

I am thinking... about a lot of things. About webs. About connections between people, places, all kinds of things. About words as webs, connecting all of us together online. Even the name, World Wide Web... very apt. About The Queen of Wands by Judy Grahn. I'm in love with her words.

I've also been thinking about personal relationships, and wishing I lived closer to my online friends & witchy sisters. I've read several posts or comments lately along these lines, and it seems as if we're all wishing our far flung webs of wonderful witchy wise women was not quite so far flung... ^-^

I am thankful... For this change in seasons. I love Spring & Summer for all that they bring, but Autumn is the season of my soul. Now through the Winter, I feel most at home. It's true, I hate being cold. But these seasons of introspection, planning, death & rebirth very much speak to me.

In the kitchen... I'm almost caught up on my dishes. ^-^ There's a load of laundry just about finished in the dryer (it just buzzed now), so another load is about to go in. I'm feeling very much like cleaning today, so I might just get everything accomplished that I've been trying to for the past few days.

I am wearing... A mishmash of warm fuzzy things... The awesome purple, red & white slippers my mom got me for Christmas last year, green & white plaid flannel pj pants that Britt's had longer than she's known me... my red, grey & black plaid flannel shirt underneath a sweatshirt & the fingerless gloves Jude (who I work with) knit for me last year. I'm a riot of flannel & color, but I'm warm. ^-^

I am creating... yarn at the moment. I've been doing a lot of spinning on my drop spindle lately. I'm spinning a blend of Merino, dyed dark blues & black. It reminds me of Winter, midnight & frozen lakes.

I am going... Nowhere today, and am thrilled. I'm going to clean & clean & then perhaps bake some bread.

I am wondering... what kind of Winter we'll have this year. I need to invest in good snow boots, as my main mode of transportation is my feet. I'm looking forward to walking in the snow... ^-^

I am reading... Everything I can find on my ancestors. I realized a few weeks ago that just because my immediate ancestors were very Christian, there were ancestors before them who weren't. So I've been researching what the Netherlands were like before the Romans & the priests came calling.

I am hoping... that I'll someday be able to find the missing parts of my family tree. My paternal great grandfather is just a name to us, as my great grandmother wasn't allowed to marry him (even though she was knocked up) because he wasn't Dutch. I know his name (Albert Lewis), but that's it...

I am looking forward to... Thanksgiving & the Winter holidays. I'm going to start early this year on my present making, so I can get my shit done. =D

I am hearing... traffic & the wind blowing through the leaves on the trees. Also hearing the kitties rampaging about the house... o_O

Around the house... There are kitties marauding & things that need cleaning. I am, however, not going anywhere near Britt's desk & her nursing school shit. @_@ She totally needs a room dedicated to her nursing stuff. Yeesh...

I am pondering... what I want to do with myself. I'd kind of settled on nursing, as nothing else was tickling my fancy. Nursing is a steady career, with almost guaranteed jobs. But my heart's not really in it. I know there would be things I'd enjoy, things I could be passionate about. But watching Britt go through school, seeing all the horizontal violence from instructors to students, nursing staff to students, students to students & working with nurses at the hospital already, I'm wanting to be an RN less & less.

It's kind of funny, but I've been thinking about the Culinary Arts program. Britt mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she's been wondering if I'd ever considered that program as well. We were both thinking about it at the same time. I love being connected at the brain stem with her. ^_~

So I'm giving it consideration. I would love to have my own little catering business... to have a bakery... to do something I love.

One of my favorite things... Is apple cider & candy cane hot cocoa (not together). Oh yes. And Chai-nog. I cannot LIVE without chai-nog during the Fall & Winter. ^-^

A few plans for the rest of the week: Make the most of my last two days off! I go back to work on Saturday for four days, then am off again for seven. I love working seven on, seven off... when I take a few days off in addition to my schedule, it's like having a vacation! =D

Also... need to check in with my lil bro to see if he's still coming to visit this month... I hope he is! ^-^

Make sure to visit http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/ for all the other lovely ladies' posts. ^-^

True Love

2011-10-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

... I has it. And today (tonight, really) marks the 8th anniversary of that true love. Tonight marks the 8th year Britt & I have been together. ^-^

I can't believe it's already been 8 years... I can't believe it's been only 8 years. It feels like a lifetime has passed since we met & got together (we're so different now compared to then), yet it still feels like yesterday. Funny thing, that.

These past 8 years have been the most wonderful, transformative years of my life. We've had our share of rough spots, but they've only made us stronger... into the indomitable women & partners we are now.

So tonight, on one of the most powerful nights of the year, I am doubly blessed. I am able to not only honor those who have passed before me with the womyn who shares my heart & soul, but to celebrate the greatest force out there. The thing that transcends time, distance & I believe, even death.

Love.

I am filled up & running over with love & eternal gratitude that this lifetime we were able to find each other so early on. May we all be so lucky next time around as well. ^-^

So... To the only person that knows everything about me, and still loves me...
To the womyn who snuggles me even when my feet are cold...
The womyn who lifts me up after I've fallen flat on my face yet again...
The womyn who is the keeper of my heart.
To the one who encourages me to follow my schemes & dreams...
And the one whom I love unconditionally...
To the amazing womyn whose spirit mirrors mine so closely, we can blend together seamlessly...

I love you. You are everything to me, my life, my breath, my heart. My raison d'etre.

I am thrilled beyond words knowing that we have years & years & years ahead of us to enjoy with each other.

My Britty... the keeper of my heart & mirror of my soul... I love you. Happy anniversary. <3

Me & the Missus...

<3

Day Off #2

2011-10-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

Spent Day Off #1 happily ensconced in my bed. Yeah... like all day. Ah well. I was tired & feel much, much better today. ^-^

I also got my hours changed around to normal people hours, instead of nighttime people hours. Yay!

Britt's home sick today, so she's in bed sleeping.

I'm up & sipping coffee, intermittently hollering at my cats... they are being beastly this morning. Yeesh... Figured I'd sit here & type a bit whilst I make my battle plans for house cleaning today. Now where did I put my trebuchet?

Nevermind... I suppose I should wash the dishes, not destroy them. Tempting, though. ^-^

Strangely enough, my biggest source of consternation is my desk. It is a disaster area. @_@
I'm not quite sure how it got this way, as I was very careful for the longest time not to just stack things on it. Hm.

My desk is the only area in the house that's kinda "mine". It's where I type, do bills, craft & read tarot. I sit here to read & write & sip coffee. Or at least I used to, when I could actually see the desk. It now looks like various piles of crap, held up by four wooden legs. Meh...

Along with the dishes & the kitchen, it's on the TOP of my priority list today. I need my desk, dammit...

Anywho... If I get my kitchen cleaned up, I'm planning on making a mess of it again right away by baking. ^-^

There's bread & cookies in my immediate future... Mmmmmmm...

Well then, I suppose I must be off to go find my kitchen counters beneath the mound of dishes. Wish me luck, and if you don't hear from me by tomorrow, send in reinforcements. ^-^

Hopefully I'll get a huge chunk of housework done today, so on Saturday I'll be able to work on the doll that's been calling to me.

Hoping you're having a most wonderful day today. ^-^

XOXO

Morning Mumblings

2011-10-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

Ah, good morning. My chai-nog & I are happily ensconsed in my office, listening to good music & spinning. My fiber, Merino dyed in dark blues and blacks, reminds me of midnight & Winter & lakes frozen over. It's sooooo pretty! =D

It was a lovely evening when I came into work. The sky had cleared a bit, and was all aglow with the sunset. Breathtaking!

On my To Do list today: Clean a bit as soon as I get home, take a zolpidem & then actually sleep, get up & be back to work at 1900. Three days (nights, whatever) until my ten off... So. Excited.

Alrighty... now to felt some pumpkins. ^-^

XOXO

Almost time...

2011-10-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

Where did October go? @_@

One minute it's the 1st, now it's the 22nd... I'm just hoping that the last bit of this month creeps by verrrrry slowly.

Autumn in favorite time of the year. The air gets crisp & cool (if not downright cold sometimes), the leaves explode into fiery brilliance, the squirrels rush around like mad, stashing nuts in every concievable place.

Autumn is also right about the time I stop blogging, crafting or doing much of anything, really. I feel like I withdraw into myself, like one of the snails I see as I walk to work every night. I feel a deep desire, a yearning to go to the woods, bury myself beneath the leaves & dirt & sleep for a long while. I find myself daydreaming about sinking into the Earth, lying there with the soil, the bugs & whatever else, perhaps wrapped in tree roots, being held close in the comforting warmth & coolness that earth can be, both at once.

Last year, this lasted through the Winter holidays, and then I "woke up" a bit for the Summer, but now I'm back to the sleepy feeing. That need to hibernate. Perhaps I was a bear in a past life...

I don't want to feel this way all the time though. One of the cards I pulled the other day was the 8 of Cups (I think). It shows introspection, to the point of shutting everything & everyone out. It recognises the need for self examination, but also cautions against focusing only on what's inside of us, and ignoring all the things & people around us, who also help make us, us.

Soooooo... I'm trying very hard to poke my head out of my snail shell. I'm finding this really hard. I don't want to come out, but I'm not accomplishing anything (not even self satisfaction) by staying in here. There are so many things I want to do & people I want to go see (namely my sis in law & nephew).

I'm hoping that not working as many extra shifts this coming month will help as well. By the time I'm done with my 7 days on, one day off, one day on, four days off, eight days on, I'm so sick of people, I just want to hide in my house, prefferably in my bed with a book.

Next month I'm planning on working only two extra shifts a pay period, at four hours each. These two four hour shifts will be tacked onto my Saturday & Sunday nights, so I'll be working 7pm to 7am. Which isn't terrible, as long as I only do two or three in a row like that. ^-^

Anywho. I must get back to work, but I'm hoping to be around more often. I love to blog & read your blogs, so I hopefully will pop back in soon & get caught up on what's going on in our neck of the woods. ^-^

Until then, I hope everyone's been doing well & you're having a blast getting ready for the best holiday of the year... =D

XOXO

Brrrrr...

2011-10-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

Holy buckets, it's FREEZING outside this morning! I left my kitchen window cracked last night & awoke to an entirely too chilly house this morning. I suppose I'll have to bake something this morning to warm things up. ^-^

Got Britt off to her third day of clinicals about a half hour ago. Thank you so much to everyone who is sending her & her classmates good thoughts! I told her this morning before she left that y'all were sending her good vibes & she wants to make sure I tell you how much that meant to her. She got a wee bit teary... ^-^

So, thank you, my darlings, for this. It means the world to me as well, having friends that I can count on. =D

So... now for the more mundane things...
Today is payday which means it's grocery shopping day. This is proving to be one of the tasks that I miss having a car for. We used to hop in the car, drive store to store & get what we needed without too much forethought. Now, since I either take the bus or walk, I need to have a plan in place. Otherwise I end up trying to carry too much stuff home at once. o_O

I need to check & see if the veggie stand is still open, and then I'll probably go there & to Trader Joe's today. I also need to hit Hellmart, so I can load money onto one of those re-loadable debit cards they have. This is how I've been paying my online bills, to ensure I don't overdraft my bank account. It's working marvelously! ^-^

I'll also get some things like cat food & litter while I'm there. And toilet paper. I must not forget the tp... @_@

After my errands I'm planning to head to the garden & see if any of my yellow pear tomatoes are ripe yet... I think that there should be at least a few ready to come home with me today. ^-^

And then I'll walk back down to Albertsons to get a few things like coffee creamer. Tomorrow I'll go to the Food Co-op & get flour & the dried legumes I need to make soup, and probably some fresh peanut butter. There's just something so awesome about grinding one's peanut butter right there at the store. ^-^

Well then... I'm off to make a grocery list for the stores I'm hitting today & finish my coffee. I hope you all have a most wonderful day! It's FRIDAY! *Happy dance* Have some fun today & tell someone special that you love them. You are guaranteed to have a good day then. ^-^

You all are my special someones today. =D
You all have my love & unending happiness to know you. I am blessed to have each of you in my life, even though we've never met in person (something I'd love to remedy, should we ever get the chance!)
I thank the Goddess every day that we've woven webs between us & made ourselves into a community in its truest sense. Y'all make me so happy, I just wanna pop. ^-^

XOXO

Greetings!

2011-10-13T10:42:00.001-07:00

Holy wow... I can't believe it's already almost half-way through October! Where does the time go? Probably the same place half a pair of socks goes when washed...

Anywho...

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. Britt started her second quarter of nursing school & unfortunately has a terrible instructor. The woman takes pleasure in making people miserable. I am both extremely sad for this horrid woman & extremely angry at how she treats people. Britt's hanging in there (sort of), but she feels like she's about to crack. I help her in whatever ways I can, but short of literally creating more hours in the day, there's not much I can do. I'm worried not only about Britt, but also her classmates, all of whom are suffering ill effects from this class & its instructor.

If you feel so inclined, send some positive energy to my sweety & her classmates... they can use all the help they can get. ^-^

In other news... I've been playing out in the garden & on the porch with my plants there when it's not raining too hard. Our tomatoes on the porch gave us their first round of bright red cherry tomatoes... They were so good, I can't wait for the next batch to ripen! Our big tomato plant of an unknown kind has also produced several lovely tomatoes, two of which are ripening nicely, and should be ready in the next few days. I am so excited I might pop!

There's a few craft project ideas I've got knocking about in my head, and I think I'm going to start making scarves & lap quilts to donate to the infusion clinic at the hospital. I've got a mixed media project I want to start working on, and I've been baking more bread again. ^-^

Last night I made rye bread... and learned that it takes a LONG time to rise & proof... @_@

I didn't get to bed until 0330 & then had to get up at 0500 to go to work, as I'm working day shift today... ick...

I've been doodling in my art journals & generally trying to enjoy my self. I've come to the realization that life is far too short to be depressed & cranky. ^_~

Every day that I work, I walk the two miles from my house to the hospital. It's one of my favorite times in my day. ^-^

I get anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour (if I'm walking really slowly) to just zen & enjoy being outside. Even if it's raining I love my walk. I leave my house about 2145 & it's a gorgeous walk beneath the moon & stars. The other night I was treated to a coyote singing to me the last mile or so... I think she was singing just for me... ^-^

My favorite part of the walk is the last half. I leave behind most of the stores & businesses & whatnot & am surrounded by trees & blackberry bushes. Can you recall the smell of blackberry bushes after they've baked in the sun all day? Or the warm-yet-cool scent of trees & moss & bushes freshly kissed by the rain? I'm one lucky duck, getting to smell these things whenever I go to work.

I get to hear crickets & frogs... owls too if I'm lucky. I smell the fields that lie to the right of the road & sometimes a smell that reminds me of horses. I feel the wind caress & tug at my hair, and the moon & stars shine down on me. I love it all & have never been so happy to have gotten rid of our car. I don't want to ever have to own one again. ^-^

Well then... I'm off to warm up the soup I took with me for lunch & perhaps read a bit...

Hoping you're having a most wonderful day!

XOXO

(Late) Practical Magic Blog Party!

2011-09-25T23:08:00.001-07:00

Sorry, my sweets, for running so late! There are gremlins in my home internet... so here I am at work. ^-^

I'd been pondering for a while what exactly I wanted to post for this wonderful party today(yesterday...). I watched the movie again & the thing that stood out most to me this time was the theme of sisterhood throughout.

Whether it be Jilly & Sally's biological sisterhood, or the sisterhood between all the women at the end of the movie, the theme weaves its way through the movie.

Perhaps this stuck out most to me, as I've been missing my sister as of late. I always miss my family, but for some strange reason, especially my sister the past few weeks.

She and I are so very opposite. I'm always amazed that we can be related. ^-^

But like the sisters in Pracital Magic, I'd be there for her no matter what, even to help her bury a body (but let's hope it doesn't come to that...)

Becuase we are so very, very different, it's been hard for us the past eight years (since my family moved away & I stayed in Bellingham) for us to be close. Add to that the physical distance between us, and it makes it even more difficult.

As for a more general sense of sisterhood, y'all got me covered there. Even though we live all over the place, have probably never met in person and are all ages, we have a sisterhood that is strong & supportive & wonderful. ^-^

We give each other the strength & support that we all need.

We give advice, take advice, make eachother laugh & cry, give support, share our passions, loves & losses.

This is what sisterhood is about. We epically win. ^-^

Alrighty... enough with the serious stuff! This is a party, after all...

Grab your glasses my darlings, 'cause the Aunts are whipping up a big batch of...

MIDNIGHT MARGARITAS!!!

Seconds, anyone? =D

XOXO

2011-09-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Question:
When you're having a string of really shitastic days, and nothing you do seems to improve things, then what? What do you do? How do you pull yourself up & turn things around? I'm plumb out of ideas, good or bad, and am rather at a loss as to what to do. Thoughts?

XOXO

Thieves in the night...

2011-09-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

There's been a rash of break-ins at & around my apartment building. Fortunately, we're on the 2nd floor, so not quite as easily accessible as the ground floor tenants. The poor girl who lives across from our back porch, but on the ground floor was home in bed when the burglar broke in. Yeesh. Fortunately, he grabbed some stuff & left & she wasn't harmed. Several other apartments have been broken into, as well as a bunch of bikes stolen. Two from the landing right outside our front door.

Britt & I have been fortunate in that our bikes weren't taken & our apartment is still intact. But I'm worried that it might get broken into while we're at work some night. I'm not worried about people stealing my stuff, but I'm very worried that my cats could get outside. They're all inside only, and haven't lived outside since they were tiny kittens. They have no "real life" survival skills, and with where we live, we'd probably never find them.

Soooo... time to make sure all the windows get shut & locked whenever we leave. Time to update the protection spells around the apartment. And time to make that Witch's bottle I've been meaning to make to protect my home from both thieves & negativity.

Do any of you do anything special to keep yourselves or your homes safe, aside from the mundane common sense type things?

XOXO

Gypsy Dreams

2011-09-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hello my Gypsy darlings! Grab your favorite stockings & most comfy nightie or finery & come sit with me by the camp fire. We've got guitars & fiddles, drums & tambourines. Let's dance & tell stories all night... <3

I'm packing up my wagon to meet with all my gypsy sisters & brothers... a gathering of the likes not seen in years...

We've got the music...

So let's dance the night away...

At midnight, we'll sing a spell...

...and bind it with Earth, Water, Air & Fire. Our Gypsy spirits are united into one, glorious dance... Our love for freedoms of all kinds, but most of all to be ourselves, carries us with laughter through the night. Our spirit is indomitable & though we are both near & far, we are family with ties that bind us closer than blood.

So... Join in the merriment tonight, and keep that warm, bright spirit alive always. <3

I'm heading back to the fire to dance some more, so... come with me?

http://mygypsydreams.blogspot.com/

XOXO

Lazy Day

2011-09-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Yup. That's been my day. Totally lazy! =D

And I've been loving every minute. I feel like I've been so busy as of late... it's nice to just do nothing.

I got up this afternoon, showered & then had tea & figs on the porch with Britt & Macha. Macha got water, not tea, but was perfectly happy. ^-^

The spider in between the mint & the rose was having tea with us as well, although I believe she was sipping on a bee that buzzed too close to her web. Tea, bee, what have you.

Another, far more careful, bee was also sipping from the Motherwort flowers I've let get away from me.

All in all, it was quite a nice afternoon. <3

What have I got planned for this evening you ask? Well, I shall tell you...

I'm going to spend the evening & most of tonight baking. Britt's dad is back in the hospital for heart issues, and is going to have open heart surgery on Friday. They're keeping him until then, as he was having quite the issues yesterday. Five nitro later, still no dice, so he went to the ER & got admitted back to CVU. Where he'll be until next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anywho, he's wanting oatmeal cookies, so after checking with his nurse, I told him I'd bake him some & bring them when we go to visit tomorrow. ^-^

Nothing like homemade cookies filled with love & positive energy to perk up one's stay at the hospital! =D

I'm also going to be making zucchini muffins & possibly some wheat muffins... I feel in the baking mood, I tell you!

I found via a Yahoo article a website call 100 Days of Real Food. Check it out, it's really nifty! I've so far made the enchiladas, tzatziki & cucumber dill pasta salad... all are phenomenal! This lady gives some good recipes!

Let me see... what else have I been up to? I've been doing quite a bit of walking lately, as we got rid of our car last month. It's been an interesting learning experience, but mostly quite nice. ^-^

Also, my garden plot is HUGE & BOOSHY. I've been promising pics all Summer long, but I promised my parents I'd post some here so they could see it, so now I'll actually have to remember to take my camera with me, then post. I'm not quite sure why getting those pics up is so hard... o_O

Anywho. I've gotta make my grocery list & head to the store, now that it's cool enough for me not to melt when stepping onto the pavement. Hope y'all had a wonderful weekend, and I shall be back with pictures soon. Really, I will...

XOXO

How do YOU say...

2011-08-30T15:08:00.001-07:00

Replace the Hershey's bar with Nutella, and that's me... *drools*

So. How do y'all say "Nutella"?

I say "nuh-tel-la"

I mean, it is made with nuts, not newts...

Britt is saying it "new-tel-la".

We are having a minor war over here with much giggling over the correct pronunciation. The internet is no help. It's telling me both ways. So... How do YOU say it? Is there a difference between how Europeans & Americans say it? How Canadians & Americans say it?

Lemme know...

XOXO

Run for the hills... THE HILLS... @_@

2011-08-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

Both my cat & my sweety are cranky to the point where the boy kitties & I are getting ready to batten down the hatches or run for the hills...

The hills are looking rather nice this time of year... o_O

Eek...

C'mon, Phiphi, Lhu & Vash... lets go before the fur starts to fly... XD

**proceeds to flee with boy kitties in blatant act of cowardice**

Sunday Rambles

2011-08-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Britt & I are making good use of our last night with a car. In about 12 hours we'll be at Lauren's boyfriend's house, picking her up on our way to drop off the car at the auction place. Then we'll head back to Bellingham & proceed to enjoy whatever kind of vodka we decide to get. ^-^

We went to our storage unit this evening to try & salvage some stuff... There's quite a bit that doesn't have mouse shit on it, but there's so very much that does, and that just can't be adequately cleaned. Mostly craft projects & the like. Like my paper mache masks... and Britt's huge book she made in high school. I cried a little when she had to throw it away. The average shit we gotta toss due to mousey contamination is irritating, but not a terribly big loss. We had too much shit anyways. The craft projects & art, however, break my heart to have to throw out. Unfortunately, there's just too many diseases that mice carry that can pass with fatal results to humans. Hanta virus anyone? No, thanks though. @_=

Trying to look on the bright side, however, we both have learned a very valuable lesson about packing & storage facilities. We won't be making the same mistakes again. And the contamination is also making it far easier to go through & get rid of shit we really don't need.

We are, however, going to go over our contract with a magnifying glass. We're rather miffed that when they discovered the mouse infestation, they did fuckallnothing about it. Didn't notify the units adjacent to the one that had been storing food, didn't set traps or poison, didn't tell us when we moved in that we were in charge of providing our own pest control. I hate to have to kill the mice, but I really can't have them living (more specifically shitting...) in my stuff. Meh.

If we have to get rid of any of our furniture due to mouse damage, we're gonna be having a talk with the owner of the facility.

Anywho... I'm terribly excited to have a few days off before I head back to work for my seven on. For some insane reason, I agreed to work day shift the past three days. I must have taken temporary leave of my senses. Ye gods. I was forcibly reminded why I do not work day shift. As if I needed a reminder... XD

But at least I've got tonight, tomorrow & Tuesday night off. Yay!

Okies... off to make a grocery list & then go food shopping. And then to clean out the car the rest of the way. I may be getting rid of my car, but I definitely want to keep my inner tubes for the next time we want to float down a river. ^-^

Hoping all y'all are having a wonderful night. ^-^

XOXO

What was I thinking?

2011-08-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

So I'm working day shift all weekend in the Staffing office... Today, tomorrow & Sunday. @_@

It's terribly strange having other people in my office with me, as I'm alone on night shift. At least it's Sandy and not somone horrible, right? Right.

There's not much going on right now, so I'm killing time until I go for lunch at 1230... I'm being stared at by a plate of snickerdoodles... and naturally, today is the first day back on track for eating healthy. Cookies, unfortunately, are so not on my 'healthy' list. o_O

Ah well. I'm going grocery shopping this afternoon, so I'll have healthy snacks to take with me tomorrow. ^-^

I'm wishing I'd have gotten some coffee this morning, but paying for the hospital's sorry excuse for coffee is obscene... XD

I'll have to wait until I'm home & make myself a pot. ^-^

I suppose I could read a bit... So I think that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm ticked that I'm unable to leave comments on blogs at the moment, as apparently my account doesn't have access or permissions to do so... wtf...

Hope y'alls day is as gorgeous as mine is! Yay, sunshine!!! =D

XOXO

Me & Nancy

2011-08-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

Last night at work, Lauren showed me where piles of books reside in the ER waiting room, waiting to be taken home. She found several old poetry books & I nabbed an old book with no cover, missing pages & burn marks all over, as well as an old book written in German. From what I can decipher, it's about the physiology & pathology of Kinderkrankheiten... or children craziness. Published in Leipzig in 1836. I am in love.

I spent about four or five hours trying to figure out what the cover-less book is. I've finally figured out it's either the 10th or 11th edition (I'm betting on 11th) of the Edinburgh New Dispensatory. It mentions Aluminum, which was discovered in 1825, but no mention of any elements discovered after that, including Bromine which was discovered in 1826. The 11th edition was published in 1826, so that's why I'm betting 11th.

I am terribly pleased with my discovery. Also, there is no front cover, but there is a back cover. With doodles from the mid-1800s. In brown fountain pen. Of a man in a coat with long tails. I shall most definitely have to post a picture of this as soon as my camera battery is done charging. Have I mentioned I'm in love? <3

I love old books. I love how they smell, how they feel in my hands, how the paper is nice & thick & ever so slightly textured. I love even more finding writing in old books... the lovely cursive one so rarely sees anymore. It makes my heart all aflutter. You could woo me with lovely writing such as that...

Anywho...That's what I've been up to all morning... playing Nancy Drew. =D

Getting ready to head off to bed so that I can get up at a decent time to make some dinner before we head to work. Hope you're all having a marvelous Sunday! ^-^

XOXO

Well hell...

2011-08-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

Britt's email accounts got hacked. Apparently the passwords that were stolen were for blogger too. In my not-most-intelligent moment ever, I clicked on one of the links in one of "her" posts & it took me to a viagra page. Great. So I've reset all the passwords I can think of, but if you get an email from me asking you to click on a link, it's NOT FROM ME. Also, if you DO get an email from "me", shoot me a comment so I can go try & fix things again.

ye gods, I'm such a dork... *facepalm*

I'll be keeping an eye on my blog as well. So don't click anything promising to make your life better. They're full of shit. @_x

Here's to hoping I don't spread this to anyone else... yeesh.

MumblemumbleMumble...

2011-08-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm up when I should be sleeping... But with how shitastically I've been sleeping (or not sleeping, rather) as of late, at least I'm being productive, right? Sure. I tried to sleep earlier & managed about three hours of almost sleep. I figure I'll go water the garden (I knew I forgot to do something this morning after work...) and then see if I can sleep again. I got an Rx for ambien, or something along those lines, with an extended release. Falling asleep isn't my issue. Staying asleep, however, is. So as soon as my check gets here, I'll be filling that Rx. And my normal one as well, which I've only been semi taking, as there was a whole big hooplah over the doc refusing to give me a refill until I'd seen her for a med checkup, which until a week ago, I didn't have money for. Yep. Refill half of my Rx at the 40mg dose instead of the 60mg one I'd been told to "try out". Then refuse to give me enough meds to get me through the month, while making me pay for a full month's worth. That makes tons of sense. o_O
Whatever. I got things worked out & am seeing a different ARNP than the one who opted not to tell me beforehand that I needed to see her before refilling to get the full amount of my Rx at the proper dose.
In other news... I'm looking for a new job, as my current one is facing possible cuts. Which shift will go first? Night shift of course. Awesome how folks who've never worked my job or my shift are insistent that it won't matter if there's not night shift clerk to do all the shit I do. Ah well... It's been a great three years (ha...), but I was wanting outta there anyways. I was planning on sticking it out through nursing school, but now it seems I may not have that option. Soooooo... I'm looking for a new place to work, so I can be a step ahead. For once. ^_~ I'm hoping I'll find a place or two that I'll like working at.
But for now, I've sold my days off to my current job. I've picked up all the extra hours I can find. I'm working seven on, two off, three on, two off, seven on... Let's see if I can make it working three day shifts without killing anyone, shall we. ^-^
Alrighty... I'm off to poke more blogs & then go water my garden. ^-^ I hope y'all are having a wonderful day & that your weather's at least a lovely as mine is... Yay for Summer! =D
(I did buy some glittery Fall leaves a while back at JoAnn's & hung them around my desk... Shhh... don't tell. I love Summer, but Autumn is always in my soul.) ^-^

XOXO

Natural buoyancy... I has it.

2011-08-05T00:59:00.000-07:00

Have got a killer headache that's been knocking about my head since this afternoon. I'm getting ready to head to bed in hopes that I'll wake up sans the pounding head. Or rather, sans the pounding IN my head. I would very much like to wake up with my head. Anywho.

Britt & I are set to go tubing down the Nooksack River later today. Whee! I haven't been tubing since I lived in Florida, and this time I won't even have to keep an eye out for gators. XD

She's never been tubing before, as her dad had some friends who drowned so she was never allowed to go. Yippee for adulthood & all the nice things you do despite one's parents' reservations.

I'm also terribly proud of us for going against our ridiculously hermit-like & anti-social natures. We are going with some people from work. Omg, Hell hath frozen over & I think a pig just flew by my window... @_@

So. I (hopefully) will be able to let you all know how this adventure goes after we get back tomorrow afternoon. I also have more plant pics to post, including some of my dragon beans, which are sprouting beans like there's no tomorrow. =D

On this note (drum beat in my poor head, whatever), I'm off to bed to vaguely worry about the possibility of drowning in a river and hopefully sleep. I am taking comfort in the fact that even if the river does try to drown me, my fat ass is terribly buoyant, so I'll probably float without much issue. And I can swim, so between that & my natural buoyancy, I'm sure I'll be fine... XD

XOXO

Flash Fiction Challenge: The Flea Market

2011-08-05T00:40:00.000-07:00

I have stumbled across a most excellent website & blog by Chuck Wendig, Terrible Minds. For his most recent flash fiction challenge, involving flea markets, I wrote the below short (very short...) story. ^-^
Head on over to THIS page after 1200 EST today & vote for your favorite story. Clickety on the links in the comments to get to the individual authors' blogs, read their stuff & then VOTE! ^-^
Easy as pie.
So! Without further ado, here's my nifty little entry. Enjoy!

XOXO

Doors

Kat poked through the piles of junk, the tables full of treasures. She had no particular item in mind, but browsed the aisles piled high with anything and everything imaginable, searching for a special something. She would know it when she found it.

She wandered around for what felt like a terribly long time. As she was getting ready to give up her search, she found it. It being an old, slightly rusted door knob attached to a back plate with a large key hole. It also came with a skeleton key that weighed heavily in her hands. There was no price tag.

“How much did you want for this?” she asked the seller. The old woman raised bushy eyebrows and peered at Kat with her bleary, aged eyes.

“That? How did that get here? Hmm. I suppose I could give it to you for $5... if you're sure you want it. Although why anyone would need that many doors, I'm sure I don't know.”

Kat handed the woman the money and carefully placed her purchase in her messenger bag. She looked back up at the old woman.

“What did you mean, about the doors? This is only for one door.”

The old seller scrunched up her wrinkly face as she laughed. “Ah, young lady, that knob will lead you through more doors than you think, if you will it.”

With that, she turned away to help another customer. Kat left the woman to her next customer and walked back toward the bus stop.

As she sat on the bus, she thought about the old seller's words. They sounded like something out of a fairy tale. She thought how lovely it would be if life had fairy tale magic, but how it most certainly did not. At least not for someone like her, a college student working at a coffee shop, who could barely pay her bills. Yeah, she'd definitely welcome some fairy tale magic.

That night she couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned, then finally got up & took some NyQuil, hoping it would knock her out for a few hours. Some time around four in the morning she gave up and went to her kitchen.

She made some tea and toast, then sat down to more closely examine the doorknob. It was strangely heavy, just as the key was. She held it up to get a better look at the design etched onto the knob. She glanced through the keyhole and what she saw nearly made her drop it. She set it down on the table and took a deep breath. Maybe she'd taken more of the cough syrup than she'd thought. Because she was obviously hallucinating. She had to be, right? Yes, she decided, she had to be, because moonlit gardens simply do not exist on the opposite sides of old doorknobs.

She held it up again and purposefully looked through the keyhole this time. Sure enough, the garden was still there. “Through more doors than I think, if I will it,” she whispered to herself. She walked over to her kitchen wall and placed the knob against it. She let go and found that it held fast to where she'd placed it. Slowly, she turned the knob to the right. It didn't budge. It was locked.

Of course it was, she thought, that's why there's a key. She grabbed the key off the table and walked back over to the knob on the wall. Kat inserted the key, turned it, then turned the knob to the right again. The whole doorknob promptly detached from the wall and she had to scramble to catch it.

“What the hell...” she muttered.

She looked through the keyhole again and saw the garden was still there. Her eyebrows drew together as she replaced the knob on the wall. She inserted the key once again and turned the knob to the left. A door that hadn't been there seconds ago easily opened out of her wall. She gazed through it into the garden bathed in moonlight, smelling of sweet flowers & green, growing things. The warm Summer air enveloped her and fireflies beckoned her forward. She stepped through the doorway onto a dirt path and didn't look back.

Rainy Sunday Mornings & Fight Club

2011-07-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movies & books (if not my favorite altogether) is Fight Club. I find it full of wise, thought provoking phrases from my favorite character in any movie, Tyler Durden. An accidental wise man. And one, who even though fictional (and even then semi-non-existent), I've found myself time & time again quoting.

I think I may have blogged about this before, in fact I'm relatively sure I have, but Fight Club is one of those rare books & movies both that really made me think in an entirely new direction. A piece of amazing creativity that stopped me in my tracks & made me go "Whoa... holy fuck... just... whoa."

Every time I watch/read it, I get certain things I've come to believe & hold dear reaffirmed. It reminds me to stop & take stock of what's really important to me whenever I get caught up in a materialistic fit. Britt & I semi-joke about if being our 'Bible'... And in our house, it is practically a religious text.

This post if brought about due to me finding a list of quotes I especially like that I'd like to work into art journal pages. Also, Britt & I are getting rid of our car. The payments are just too high, especially with the insurance, and neither of us are working the massive overtime we were when we first got it... we've had to learn the hard way what an average paycheck is without the OT.

As terrified as I am to get rid of it, I feel very much at peace. While trying to decide what we wanted to do with our car (keep it or sell it), I grabbed my tarot cards for some insight... they told me to focus on our health, on de-stressing & on changing things in our lives that may seem hard now, but will benefit us in the long run. I took this as an affirmation of my initial thought that we should indeed sell our car, without immediately getting a new one.

Back to that scrap of paper with movie quotes scribbled on it...

"Things you own end up owning you."

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

As for the last quote, I don't take literal meaning from that. I have no plans to get rid of all my shit. However, I take meaning from it in that it's only after I've lost my fear of not having & fear in general will I be truly free. So...

I've ditched my cell phone... now we're getting rid of our car. I'm terrified, but elated. I'll be able to hop the bus or my bike or walk wherever I want, whenever I want without having to worry about having enough gas in my car or gas money or insurance or a driver's license (all of which I currently lack at the moment for one reason or another...).

I will be free to go where I will.

I am terrified & excited.

In parting, I have one last thing to say...

"He's a great man. Do you know about Tyler Durden?"

Wednesday Wishings...

2011-07-27T18:17:00.000-07:00

Have spent the day today hanging about the house, re-dying my hair (which was fucking awesome ORANGE, but is now a more work appropriate copper, meh...) and day dreaming of running off to join the circus. With Britt & Grace. =D

We'd do fire dancing, aerials, bellydancing... go us.

Now all we gotta do is finish losing weight so we can hold ourselves up on the equipment... o_O

Found a couple of new blogs... This one & this one... the last of which will have you snorting whatever it is you're drinking out your nose. You have been warned. I wanna be a rockstarAuthor. Oh yeah, baby...

Ahem...

So let's see... I wanna join the circus, be an author & finish losing weight. Sounds like a plan...

Jam making... kinda...

2011-07-24T17:57:00.001-07:00

Soooooo... Britt & I went to her parents' house the other day. They have some huge red & black currant bushes & I picked a bunch to make jam. Now that I'm home & picking through them, I've found a shit ton of larvae of Saw flies. Oh goody.

I've been googling for the past 30 minutes how to get rid of them & if the berries are ok to eat/make jam with after I get them out of the berries. So I'm soaking the berries in salt water for an hour (as suggested by several people) to get the worms out. Allegedly they'll float to the top.

I hate any kind of parasitic worm. Normal, garden worms? I love 'em. Little white grubby things? Yeeeesh... @_@

It took all my self control not to toss the whole lot of berries into the compost. Blech. But since many people seem to have this problem & have a way to get the nasties out, I figure I'll give it a whirl. I'll be possibly making jelly instead of jam, however... omfg.

Any words of wisdom from any jam makers out there will be greatly, greatly appreciated! ^-^

UPDATE:
After seeing the amount of nasty ickies that are popping out of my currants, I think they're headed for the compost heap & I'm gonna have to start over. Gah... I'm so bummed! I was so excited to make jam! TT___TT

Updated update...
After talking to my momma, an avid jam maker, she said to just pick 'em out & make the jam. She said that there's no way I'll ever pick bug free berries, so to just pick them out & cook the jam. Yay for jam making being back on! =D

Love you mom & thanks!!! ^_______^

XOXO

21 o'clock Tea Party

2011-07-20T03:51:00.000-07:00

Join me, won't you, for a nocturnal spot of tea? It's just lovely out here on the porch... There's even a few faeries flitting about... They came back as soon as I promised them that Macha had absolutely no interest in eating them. ^-^

They have nothing to fear, as my lazy kitty is perfectly content sitting on my lap or on the table or half buried in the catnip...

So, would you like some cream? Or sugar or agave perhaps?

The Motherwort is growing nice & big & booshy...

Our Lover's Lane rose is HUGE. She's so tall, I have to crane my neck to look at all her lovely blooms...
The Flamingo happily hold the rose's name tag... & hunts bugs. He missed a caterpillar earlier, so I nabbed it for him.

My lantern lights the way for late night parties with the garden faeries...

Our poppies are still so small... but growing steadily! I can't wait for them to bloom. Poppies are one of my favorite flowers...

The snapdragons are going to bloom any day now. I'm so excited, I may pop... As you can see, they're gonna be RED! =D

I must say, I've loved having you over this evening! We'll have to do this again. Perhaps tomorrow, when I shall have cookies to go with our tea. Excitement! But for now, we'll just munch some of the nasturtiums & enjoy the glow of magic from the plants. More tea?

XOXO

Blank

2011-07-18T02:03:00.001-07:00

That would be how I'm feeling. I want to work in my art journals or on a doll or on the pumpkins I'm eternally felting, but it's as if my spark of oomph has just up & disappeared... and I don't know where to find it.

After vowing not to let my kitchen get out of control messy ever again, it is overflowing with dishes & things that got set on counters but don't belong there.

There are a bunch of things I want to be doing, but it's as if I've lost my will to do much of anything. I was feeling so good the past three weeks, I have no idea what happened. I even seem to have lost my oomph for blogging. I want to blog. I usually love it & enjoy it so much, but I feel like my mind's a blank for art or creativity of any kind.

Perhaps I'm in need of some inspiration, to find something or someone to re-light the spark of my creative drive, as I am seemingly incapable at the moment.

2011-07-16T02:10:00.000-07:00

I hate how when I stop blogging for a while that it feels so hard to get back into my groove... I LOVE blogging... It's my addiction. It makes me ridiculously happy. So I have no clue as to why I'll randomly cease. Anywho... I'll keep pondering this, as I'm sure it'll happen again.

But in the meantime, what have I been up to? Well! I shall tell you. ^-^

I've been quite enjoying my life sans cell phone. It's awesome. Britt & I have also almost completely stopped driving our car in favor of walking or taking the bus. Strangely enough, when taking the bus everywhere I feel much more relaxed. Even though I have to plan out when I'll be heading somewhere to make sure I get my connections, I feel much calmer & less rushed. It's strange & oh-so-nice. I think that it also helps that I'm not just zipping around in my car, dashing from one place to the next. I also love that I get to look at the scenery 'cause I'm not the one driving. =D

We've been babysitting Triston & he's crawling all over the place now. He's learning to stand while holding onto things too, and I think he'll be walking shortly. So exciting! =D

Our garden plot is growing amazingly well. We went to water yesterday morning & found three peas growing on our single pea plant (yeah... the one we didn't think was gonna make it & the only one that did.) We were so thrilled, we were squealing with glee. We ate two of the peas & left the third to grow a bit bigger. I thinned a few carrots, which we also ate, and generally ran about excitedly looking at all the plots in the garden & squee-ing over all the lovely veggies & flowers. We must've been quite the sight... XD

The plants on our porch are doing marvelously as well. I was walking around the yard between our apartment building & the one next door & looked up at our porch. I was startled at how lovely it looks from the ground... With the plants growing up against the porch railing & in some cases UP the railing itself, it's our own, personal Eden. It's a bright spot of color & greenery... and attracts birds, bees, hummingbirds & even Faeries... =D

I shall have to take some pictures this weekend & show you all. I am so in love with my plants... ^-^

Alrighty then... I'm off to find a picture of how I'm gonna style Lauren's hair for the wedding she's going to later today...

XOXO

Oh my fur & whiskers... @___@

2011-07-05T03:28:00.000-07:00

I'm late, I'm late... (as per usual) for a most important date! Ack! The past few days/weeks have been a whirlwind... add to that internet gremlins & I have myself a rather late Mad Tea Party post!

BUT!!!

As they say, "Better late than never"!!!

Words I live by... o_O

So, my darlings, without further ado, won't you please join my friends & I for a spot of tea?

The morning started early... There was much to do before our guests arrived at 7 pm... Phiphi & Vash (formerly Anubis, but that's another story entirely...) "helped" me make my to do list & drink my coffee...

Several hours of maddly dashing about & baking & decorating later, Lauren & Jae came! The hit of the party was the fake lips... It helped that they had tasty suckers on them... Me (left) & Jae (right)...

and Lauren. I think her lips were by far the best ones... XD

But then there's Britt's lips... they're kinda awesome...

First group shot attempt... fail...

Jae's & my lips... again...

The kitties, of course, we in attendance as well. As we couldn't find kitty-safe or kitty-sized lips, they were stuck wearing their own... Ah well. they didn't mind too much...

(No, she's not pulling his tail, regardless of how this looks...)

Lauren did have a moment of, um, species confusion however... I think the kitten had gotten cupcake on his head perhaps? At least she used the fake tongue.

(Yes, Vash is plotting her untimely demise...)

He apparently forgot about the impromptu fake cleaning enough to zonk out in Lauren's lap a bit later. Ah, the cuteness...

And then was up, mucking about again several minutes later...

He also got some muvs from Jae... Can we guess who the star of the Tea Party was? It helps that he's the only social kitty in the house... lolz...

Love our lips...

Attempted group shot #2... Fail...

Third time's the charm!

Post party... So much food left over... omg...
Poor Britty's pooped... We sent the leftovers with Lauren to work, I sent Britt to bed & I cleaned up then joined her. We were having such a riot just sitting around telling stories & gabbing that Jae was almost late to work... @_@ oops.

And Vash was all sleepy again too... Lhu was just beginning to wake up... He'd slept through the rest of the party, waking only to come get the kitty treats Britt bought to give the kitties (since they can't have cupcakes...)

All in all, the tea party was a success. The leftover cupcakes & cake-bites-on-a-stick were loved & quickly gobbled up by super happy hospital staff.

I've already picked my theme for next year's party... And have promised myself that I will NOT wait to do everything several hours before the event. Ever. Again.

Well then, my darlings, I hope you enjoyed our merriment & liked your tea... I can't wait to visit your tea parties! Hopefully my internet gremlins will move on soon & I'll have internet at my house once again. Until then, I'll poke & prod you all from work. =D

XOXO

More mutterings from the Staffing office...

2011-06-22T04:09:00.000-07:00

Holy wow... we had such a gorgeous Midsummer yesterday! I am still in awe... I can't remember the last time we actually had SUN on the Summer solstice... It was awesome. ^-^

So I got rid of my cell phone today... and have saved us $40 a month. W00t. I'm ridiculously ecstatic & terrified at the same time. I only vaguely remember not having a cell phone... And once I started texting? It became my main mode of communication. But in an effort to drastically simplify our lives & decrease our massive amount of bills, we're cutting out things we can live without for now. I fully intend to get a cell phone again. But not until I've managed to climb out of debt. The thing I'm most missing? Being able to tweet via my phone... I'm such a dork... o_O But that's how I was able to keep in touch with some of my friends & able to have multiway conversations easily. I'll still tweet a ridiculous amount from my computer, I'm sure, but it's still weird not having my phone to use for this. Lolz...

My, oh my... how reliant & dependent I've become on the tech around me... Eek...

But overall I feel good about my decision to cut my phone & feel freer than I have in a while. ^-^

Well then... I'm off to finish poking through recipes for the Tea Party... Which is FRIDAY...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh...

ahem.

Anywho... Back to trying to organize. Have a lovely day my sweets! =D

XOXO

Morning Rambles...

2011-06-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

So... 16 oz of coffee has done absolutely nothing for me this morning... bleh... I still feel so not awake. I've had the kitten climb my back three times in about 10 minutes... OUCH. Those tiny claws of his are sharp.

I got the first page in my new art journal done yesterday evening. ^-^ I got an awesome old book from the flea market for $1, called The Captive Witch... lmao... So I figured I'd set her free from the book via art. Sounds good to me.

Lhu has decided not to eat Anubis. Yay! He is rather enjoying having a kitty that will play rough & tumble with him & not bitch about it. ^-^ Macha & Phiphi are still being bitchy... ah well. They'll get over it.

Heading back to work tonight, and I so don't wanna go! I wish I could work from home... that would be awesome. XD We brought up the option in our staff meeting this morning, but we got shot down... pity.

Sooooo... I suppose I'd better get those invitations finished, as I wanted to finish them like two days ago... and here's some random pics of my supremely adorable nephew, Triston. ^-^

He loves to play with whatever we're drinking... my diet Pepsi bottle... Britt's 5 hr energy shot... Lolz. Fortunately, he can't unscrew the lids yet, but he seems happy just to nom on the tops. Yep... this is my favorite teacup human... <3

XOXO

Alice: Madness Returns

2011-06-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, my sweets, the madness returns...

Meet Anubis...

2011-06-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

Soooooo... Britt & I went to Target the other day to get some eggs (we got a free dozen egg coupon in the mail... sweet!). On our way there, we saw a van parked in the mall parking lot with a BIG sign in the back window... it said "KITTENS".

It was hot out... and we were rather appalled that someone would have animals in their car in the heat. So we stopped by to see what was up. There was a woman in the van & a cat carrier full of kittens in the back. Two long haired, one grey, one black, three black & brown, one grey & white & one black & white.

Britt immediately fell in love with the long haired black kitten... who looks like a miniature Macha. So much for her rule of "No more monochrome cats. We need some color." lolz...

Anyways. This is Anubis. I wanted to name him Goblin, but Anubis is what we settled on. ^-^ He's our newest & probably last addition until we get a bigger place. I have no regrets about getting him, even though he wasn't pre-planned (forget accidental pregnancies... I have to worry about accidental kittens... o_O)

Our other cats have less than good opinions on the matter, but are adjusting. ^-^

So without further ado, here are baby pics! =D

Meet Anubis...

First bath, as soon as we got him home...

And those awesome ears are why I wanted to name him Goblin! =D

Britt did the washing, I did the drying. Poor wet cat...

We took him out to the living room to run around while we supervised... Macha & Phiphi were not amused... XD

And now we have three black cats... omg...

Yep... he's nomming the kitty tunnel... o_O

Protecting my curtains from the newest hellbeast... My poor curtains... @_@
Bought a squirt bottle & labeled it the "Good Kitty Maker"... Have had to squirt the mini-cat several times for trying to eat my computer cord... *facepalm*

Anywho... So that's what I've been up to this weekend... I recently learned that a herd of cats is called a "Clutter"... I definitely have a cat clutter... XD

Well then... I'm off to make sure Lhu hasn't eaten the baby...

XOXO

Garden Pics!

2011-06-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

So I know I promised to post pics like forever ago... and then didn't... lolz... so! Here we go. This is my garden as of about a week ago. Everything is decidedly larger now... ^-^ So there will be more pictures eventually! Yay! Enjoy, my lovelies! ^-^

OK... So this isn't my garden plot, but it's Britt's & my Lover's Lane rose that she bought for us for Valentine's Day a few years ago... This is her first bloom of the Summer! =D

So I think Britt's washing her hands with the hose or something... But the pic was actually supposed to be of the bed, not her backside (although, it IS a very nice backside... ^_~)

Weeding...

And watering...

I can't wait to post more recent pics! The beans we planted & huge & booshy now! And that one, lone pea in the lower right hand corner is still alive & kicking. Woohoo! I planted some yellow beans around it, so it wouldn't feel as lonely... I couldn't find any pea starts... o_O

Well then... Off to wake up Britt so I can pour some coffee in her, wake her up & head to town for the Farmer's Market! Yay!!! I see Man Pies in my future... Made of chicken, beef, lamb or veggies... not men. As far as I know, Mrs. Lovett is not in their employ...

XOXO

It's almost TIME!!!

2011-06-04T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed, my dearies... It's that time of year again...

What time, you ask?

Why, it's Mad Tea Party Time! =D

Come join the fun, the frivolity, the mischief, mayhem & madness!

Bring your favorite tea cup & come party with A Fanciful Twist & everyone else on June 25th!!!

See you then, my sweets!

XOXO

Holy SHIT, it's June...

2011-06-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

@_@

Um, where did May go? Anyone? o_O

I can't believe it's June 1... only 24 days til the Mad Tea Party, and I just realized I haven't got my "Woohoo! It's Tea Party Time!!!" post up yet! Oops... Things have been kinda nutso around here as of late, but we're working it out & slowly, but surely, balance is returning. ^-^

Soooooo... As soon as my dishes are finished, I've got a Tea Party post to write & link to our splendorific hostess... and garden picture updates!

But first, I really must finish my housework... I go back to work tonight & want it done before hand! Okies... Be back in a bit, but for now, ONTO THE DISHES!!!

Mwahaha... I will have a clean house if it KILLS me... XD

Playing in the DIRT... ^-^

2011-05-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

Today Britt & I went to the Community Garden, picked our plot & filled it with dirt. It took us about an hour and a half to haul the dirt via wheelbarrow from the giant pile to our bed. Woohoo for exercise! =D

We then planted our squash, as the poor things needed to get into the ground & we needed to plant something to mark the bed as ours. Tomorrow we'll plant the rest of our garden, as we ran out of day light today... ^-^

I'll be hunting through the woods for good sticks to use to make trellises for our beans & peas in the morning, then as soon as Britt gets home from school we'll head over & plant our goodies! =D

I'm super excited & terribly happy that we're finally able to get things going... I was beginning to worry we'd be out of planting season by the time everything was finished... 0_O

But it's all working out nicely, and if I'm feeling energetic in the morning, perhaps I'll fill some more beds with dirt... perhaps...

Alrighty then... Back to my Guinness... so bitter... but strangely good too... Hope y'all have a lovely night & I promise pictures & a new garden post in the near future. ^-^

XOXO

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T03:08:00.001-07:00

To all of the wonderful women who are moms, whether to humans or animals, here's to YOU! Y'all are amazing & I appreciate each & every one of you. Celebrate today (and everyday!), 'cause you've earned it. ^-^

To my mom, who may or may not even know where to find this post, I love you. You are an amazing and wonderful woman. You've taught me so many things in life & have helped when you could during those tough lessons I had to learn for myself. You have an amazing strength in you, even if you're not aware of it. Looking back over the years, from my now slightly older & hopefully wiser point of view, I am able to appreciate & marvel at all you've done & continue to do.

It was never easy being the wife of a pastor, yet you managed it with grace & humor. You still do & I really don't understand how you do it sometimes. You constantly amaze me.

I've always been thankful that we had such a close relationship. I know that my last year in high school was a challenge especially & the years since I've come out haven't been the easiest for you. But you still love me & I still love you. We've made it work, no matter what.

There are many things I love, simply because you love them too. I am partial to violets & tea pots. I love that blue plaid flannel shirt I 'borrowed' from you in high school. I still have it, even though I rarely wear it anymore, due to several spots being threadbare from how often I wore it. It's still my favorite shirt. I can feel you hugging me when I wear it. Your chicken soup is still my standard for what chicken soup is supposed to taste like. Your Cornish pasty is still my favorite meal. I feel possessed every Winter to buy & set up a miniature village, like the one you've had since I can remember.

You've helped shaped the woman I am & am becoming, even though we are vastly different. I am still blood of your blood. I am your daughter. I am reminded of this in so many ways. From having your pinky toes to writing some of my letters the same as you do.

Mom, I love you & I am always thankful that you were the one who got stuck with me. ^-^ I've never wished for a different mother, and I never will. You are perfect and wonderful. A gift given to me, Tim & Mary Jo. We are the luckiest kids ever.

I hope you're having a wonderful day today & I wish I could be there in person to hug you & tell you how much I love you. It's days like this where a phone call just doesn't cut it for me. Truth be told, phone calls never really cut it, but I'm grateful I'm at least able to talk to you regularly, even if it's not in person.

So... Happy Mother's Day. You are a blessing and a gift, and I love you so very much.

PS... I'm going to try & find that picture of you dressed up in my PVC jacket & Britt's knee high platform boots... you know, the ones with all the buckles? Oh yeah, and the "I'm a badass" look on your face. It was on my fridge before we moved... I think it needs to go back up on the fridge... It made me smile every time I saw it.

w00t.

2011-05-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

Homework complete! =D And it didn't even hurt too much... So now, before I go to take a nap before heading into work at 2300, here's a pic I meant to post yesterday...

PHIPHI!!!

@_@

Ye gods, I love my cats! XD

Love & hugs & now off to bed!

XOXO

Blarg...

2011-05-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

It's still raining, and I'm stuck in the house... I'm supposed to be doing homework that's due by midnight tonight, but I'd rather be doing anything else... ick.

So I'm productively procrastinating by posting here... ^-^ Then I'll get to the homework. Blech.

I'm savoring my last cup of coffee with tasty creamer... it's going way to fast. I'm outta creamer & don't get paid for a week. A WHOLE WEEK. How will I ever survive??? @_@

I suppose I'll have to drink my coffee with milk (shudder) or with just agave (gasp)...

Anywho... I'm work tonight, build garden beds all day tomorrow & then work tomorrow night. The we have dinner at Britt's parents' house on Sunday for Mother's Day & her birthday. My next weekend is packed as well, and I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed... Ack.

But I shall just take deep breaths, calmly write down all the shit I gotta do & when I gotta do it by & I shall be fine... right? RIGHT? @_@

Right...

Well then, my beloved bloggy buddies, I'm off to do my damned homework & then the dishes... They're still taunting me... o_O

Welcome back, Dark Mother, I cannot tell you how ridiculously overjoyed I am that you came back. I luf you to pieces & the prospect of the bloggosphere without you was a grim one indeed.

XOXO

Plants!

2011-05-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

So this is gonna be a pic heavy post. Yay! =D
I've been part of the planning committee for the new Community Garden that one of the local churches is building. Faith Lutheran has the space & wanted to do something for our neighborhood, so they decided to put in a garden. My friend Lauren's dad (Joe) called me up a few months back, asking if I'd be interested in helping out. They need community members who are not part of the church to sit on the board. I was ridiculously happy to participate! I'd been dreaming about a community garden for a while, but had no idea how I would go about starting one. Ask & you shall receive... And I'm thrilled. It's as if the universe looked into my heart & gave me exactly what I'd been longing for. I am feeling very loved. ^-^
So! We've been planning & digging & building for the past two or so weeks, and finally have most of the fence up. On Saturday we'll be building the raised beds, and hopefully either then or Sunday I'll be able to plant. My starts are getting impatient to get into the ground! @_@
So here are some pictures... Hope you likey & I shall of course post some more once the beds are built & my plants planted!

XOXO

First, some cats... 'cause I just can't help myself. And Lhu's toes are just too cute.

Some Phiphi & Macha snuggly-ness

Now for my porch plants...
Here's our rosemary...

And now proof I didn't totally kill my lavender. T_T My poor plant...

And one of the newest additions, my Holly tree! =D I'm going to get him a nice, BIG pot to live in for the next two or three years. I'm hoping he won't grow too big too quick, so I can plant him on our property when we buy a house. If he does get too big for his new pot (not the one he's in now), we'll plant him up at Britt's parents' house. ^-^

The only one of our roses that survived the winter... At least it was our Lover's Lane... <3

And the indoor plants... Here's our Wandering Jew...

And my Ivy...

And now for our starts! I planted seeds, and look what I got! =D

Here they are on April 27th...

And here again today, May 4th!

Now for Community Garden photos! =D

Here's our fence. We'll be putting some smaller wire on the bottom, as soon as it arrives...

We tacked the metal fencing to the wood with U-shaped nails. They were kinda a pain in the ass to hold, but work wonderfully!

We set the posts by hand & then poured cement into the holes. I have awesome bruises from carrying the posts... XD

Britt came to bring me coffee one day while I was working... I have the best sweety ever. ^-^

Well then! That about sums up what I've been doing lately! And now I'm running late to my garden meeting, so I'll pop back in later & catch up on my blog reading.

XOXO

Happy May!

2011-05-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Since the last post (the one before it, actually) in which I felt like I was completely losing it, I've chilled out considerably & have been feeling much better. Thanks to everyone who gave me support & hugs during my spaz attack. I luf you all.

I'm off in a bit to go take pics to post here of the work we've been doing on the community garden. Yay! We have most of the fence up, so I'm excited to share...

Kinda bummed 'cause Dark Mother has taken a leave of us, and her blog is one that I absolutely LOVE. I hope she returns soon... She will be missed.

In other news, I broke my tooth yesterday while eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch. o_O So I made a dentist appointment, went in & ended up having the damn thing ripped outta my head. Eek. So not what I was planning to do yesterday... @_@

So now I have one less cavity, one less wisdom tooth & a lot more achy-ness in my jaw. Ah well...

It's back to work tonight, and I'm so not wanting to go. I've been enjoying my days off...

Well then... I'm off to go take pics so I can post them this afternoon! I'll post some pics of my plant starts as well... I'm so proud. I grew them from seeds & they actually GREW this time! =D

Request

2011-04-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

http://thingstolookat.com/2011/04/our-house/
http://www.dangerdame.com/diary/

Hey all you wonderful, witchy women that I know & love (and all of you who may not be witchy, but are still wonderful!)...

Please take a moment and send your thoughts & some strength to these two amazing people, Veronica & Burke. Veronica is one of my heroes/role models & I find her very inspiring. The two of them together are like a fairytale romance, which I also find inspiring. Through their art they have inspired & touched many people. Send them some love & support if you can. Thanks m'dears!

FML

2011-04-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

That would be me up there... I feel like I'm completely fucking loosing my shit here... And I don't know what to do to fix it. I just want to curl up into a ball & cry. I keep hoping that I'll be able to go to sleep, wake up & find all this shit's just a bad dream. But I know better... gah...The cherry on this cake of shit is that I'm training tonight, so I can't even hide in my office alone. I completely forgot to set my alarm today & didn't get up in time to make it to my friend's bday dinner. Who does that? So not winning the friend of the year award... ever. Did I mention all I want to do is curl up & cry? Yeah...
Off to get ready for work... This takes "Putting on my face" to a whole new level...
When you feel like you're drowning & fighting for just one more breath, how do you get that breath? I can't seem to find it... I'm just breathing water here...

Art from the Heart & a Giveaway!

2011-04-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!

Just ran across this super wonderful blog Art From the Heart & Amy Jo is having a supremely awesome, supremely generous giveaway to celebrate her 200th post! =D

Head to her blog to see her wonderful collages & to enter. Best of luck to everyone & don't forget to stop & oogle her wonderful artwork too! ^-^

XOXO

Morning musings...

2011-04-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Random picture that's currently making me happy:

Good morning!

It's a lovely, chilly, windy, grey & about-to-be-rainy Saturday morning here in Bellingham, and I simply can't sleep. Probably due to the large amount of coffee I ingested at work about 0430 this morning, but ah well... my brain needed that wake up. ^-^

I'm feeling crafty today! So I think I'll haul out the wire & make an armature for a doll... @_@

And then I'll play with some paper mache if I get my armature completed. ^-^

Well then... I'm off to refill my coffee cup & play with some wire. Hope you're all having a wonderful Saturday & that your weather is nice & sunny & warm! ^-^

XOXO

And back to work I go...

2011-04-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

Le sigh. I don't wanna work tonight... Ah well. Could be worse, I'm sure. ^-^

Britt started school yesterday, and so far is doing well. She's one of the only people who has bothered to do any homework, so she's impatient with the slackers who are wasting her time in class. I adore her. ^-^

I've also started school for this quarter, and am happier than a pig in mud that my classes are all online. =D

I've got my list of things to do for today, which unfortunately include going to the library to do homework, as my textbooks have yet to arrive from Amazon.

The day started off gorgeous & sunny (and almost kinda warm!), but has since turned cloudy & chilly. At least I'm not going to be stuck inside doing homework while it's nice out... ^-^

Well then... I'm off to find some socks & my shoes so I can head out to the library on campus. Hope all y'all are having a most wonderful Wednesday!

XOXO

Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-04-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

For Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

Outside my window... It is another grey, Spring day... The deck is mostly dry from yesterday's showers though, so I think I'll take Macha out on the porch to sit with me & drink my coffee.

I am thinking... How nice it is to feel relaxed & calm. I haven't felt like this in weeks. Glorious...

I am thankful for... My cats. I love their love. I love Macha following me around the house. I love her in my lap. I love taking her out to the porch & watching her sniff around all the plants, checking to see if the catnip is big enough to munch upon. I am thankful for the few years I had with Kyo. They weren't nearly long enough, but he taught me what it was like to have a piece of your soul take the shape of a furry cat. He taught me love on a level I'd never loved before. He is missed... And Phiphi who is sweet & wonderful, even though he's a heater hog. And then Lhu (Cthulhu) who keeps me on my toes & is (reluctantly) beginning to realize that he truly does love to snuggle... However, if either of you two, Phiphi & Lhu, ever pull the dominance shit you did the other day & I get marked again, I'll be pissed. Getting cat sprayed, while endearing that you think I'm yours, so does NOT sit well with me. And it made me have to do another load of laundry. You weenies. I love you. Hellspawn... ^_~

From the kitchen... The coffee has just finished perking. The heater is on, as it's a bit chilly this morning, but I'll be turning it off soon. As per usual, there are dishes waiting to be done... but not the usual mountain of them. ^-^

I am wearing... A red hooded, zip-up sweatshirt. The kind that's thin & not terribly warm. The kind you wear outside on a warm night that's not quite warm enough... and my slippers in various shades of purple. I would be wearing my ever present Halloween pj pants, but sadly they're MIA... So alas, I'm not wearing any pants. Ah well... the hoodie & undies are comfy enough.

I am creating... My spell book. The one I was inspired to make after the Practical Magic Blog party. I finally found my bottle of Mod Podge, so I was able to do some much needed Mod Podging on a few of the pages yesterday.

I am going... Nowhere today, and I'm thrilled about it.

I am reading... Michah, by Laurel K. Hamilton. Finally awesome books that are side-splitingly funny, have awesome sex, and are good mysteries to boot.

I am hoping... That this peacefulness stays with me for the rest of the day.

I am hearing... the heater blowing out hot air in the kitchen & Macha, curled on my lap, purring. I'm never quite sure when she's sitting on my if I'm hearing or feeling her purr...

Around the house... All is quiet. Britt went back to bed, Lhu is snuggled happily on the top level of the kitty condo & Phiphi is snuggled as close to the heater as possible. I'm still not sure how he's never caught fire or cooked his innards... Perhaps he's part fire sprite or something...

One of my favorite things... is sitting outside on my porch, surrounded by my plants & Macha, sipping coffee in the morning or something cold in the afternoons... I can't wait to have my porch filled with greenery & flowers again!

A few plans for the rest of the week: My classes began again Thursday, so there is homework to be done. Today I'm going to be cleaning up the house some more & perhaps I'll get in a solitary game of Arkham Horror... Britt starts nursing school this week, so that will be another change to get used to. I've also got an article I need to write today for a newsletter about the community garden we're working on.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

This is Kyo. ^-^ And I think that the foot is Britt's... Yup. That's the little piece (big piece...) of my soul that manifested into a kitty cat. Love you & miss you my Kyo-kun.

Thanks as always to the wonderful woman who started this:
http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

2011-04-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

So I was planning to post about Kyo & have some pics of my fluffy, orange monster, only to realize the pics are in storage (on CDs) & I can't get into my storage until the 4th... o_O

So! I shall post about him another day, but soon!

As for today... Today is a lovely day! I think I'm going to go play outside a bit later... ^-^
It started out cold, windy & rainy, but suddenly was SUNNY!!! =D

A strange thing happened earlier this morning, whilst it was still pouring... I went to Hellmart to get TP, cat food, litter, deodorant, etc. My house was mostly clean & there were only a few dishes on the counter waiting to be washed. When I came home, there was stuff EVERYWHERE.

I guess this is what happens when Britt decides to rearrange our tiny place...

To top it off, the desk was in the doorway to the bedroom & the top had come off from Britt trying to move the damn thing by herself... o_O

We got it into the living room & I got the top back on, after liberally applying Gorilla glue... awesome stuff, that...

I'm way caffeinated... I'm practically vibrating outta my seat. W00t for Monster & coffee...

I finally got Mod Podge on the first page of my spell book. YAY! Now the leaf won't crumble anymore... Sweet. I've never used the Mod Podge before... as we bought it, promptly lost it & I just found it yesterday. Happiness.

I made a nice little sign a week or so ago with my word for the year on it... Thrive. It's stuck to the little cupboard door on my desk. I'll have to take a picture of that as well...

Well then... I'm off to find the rest of my apartment. And then I should probably get working on my homework & the article I'm writing for a newsletter about the community garden.

Have a marvelous Saturday my dears & hopefully I'll get some pictures posted tonight! ^-^

XOXO

Rainy Wednesday Worries... And rants & rambles...

2011-03-30T14:41:00.000-07:00

I am stressed. Britt's stressed. This does not make for a very pleasant home life right now. I'm also on my period, during which my ability to keep my inner BITCH in check goes mostly out the window. Due to stress, we're both short & snappy with each other. Neither of us have been eating or sleeping well, today is the first day in almost two weeks that I've done any housework. Britt's picked up a shit load of extra shifts, because it seems that no matter what we do, there is just never enough money to cover all the bills plus groceries & gas. I'm frustrated & stressed & tired. I'm also depressed & ran out of meds two weeks ago, but didn't have money to refill my RX. Britt was out of meds, but told me she wasn't, so hers didn't get filled either (so pissed). This is a bigger issue, as she gets really moody (understatement...) when she's not on them.

I'm trying to chill the fuck out. It's not working terribly well so far. Macha is snuggled by me, which makes me feel somewhat better & I found the pictures of Kyo I thought I'd lost, so at least I'll have those to gaze at while I miss him & mourn him again tomorrow. Not to mention that I still feel like it's my fault he died. I know it's not my fault. I didn't give him bone cancer. But I still feel like if I'd done more, been a better person, taken him to the vet sooner, etc., he'd still be here. It's stupid & totally irrational, but I can't help it. I still blame myself.

I've been sleeping like shit lately, having weird nightmares that really disturb me. I'm used to weird or 'scary' dreams (like being chased by zombies...). Those don't bother me. However, I'm not used to being scared of un-named, invisible things that are chasing me. Usually in my dreams, if it's bad & it's chasing me, I stop running, turn around & kill it. All better, problem solved. But not lately.

I was having a nightmare that something horrible was happening to my cats, I don't know exactly what, and thankfully Macha came & yowled at the bedroom door & woke me up. Thank Goddess for my occasionally psychic cat, who is still laying across my arms as I type this. ^-^

I don't know how to chill, how to de-stress, how to get my shit together. I'm working on it, I've made lists of bills, things to do, aspects of myself to work on, etc.

I'm also terrified because I'm gonna have to step up & be a good hausfrau whilst Britt is in school. She'll be in class 8 hrs a day & still work 5 out of every 14 days. She's going to be fried. I need to step in & take over her parts of housework & dinner making. I want to make sure she gets to class on time, has lunch with her, has dinner waiting when she gets home, etc. I want to do EVERYTHING I possibly can to help her succeed. I'm terrified that I won't be able to live up to MY expectations... sigh.

I'm also looking into getting a second job, just in case she can't work & do nursing school at the same time. I don't want her to struggle any more than she has to. Nursing school's a bitch, even without having to work. And we need a new bed... The futon is just not cutting it anymore... I know it's a big part of why we're both getting such poor sleep. But beds are hella expensive...

I'm a giant ball of stress, and when I get stressed, I feel the need to be self destructive. This, obviously, probably doesn't really help, although it makes me feel better at the moment. Ack.

Lists make me feel somewhat better & more organized. So I'm going to make a list of all the SHIT that I need to do, will need to do & how the fuck I plan on doing it. I think that at least will help me feel a bit more calm.

I'm also going to grab some Smirnoff outta the fridge... ^_~

And getting all this psycho shit out of my head makes me feel better too. And I think I'm going to paint some today... I feel like I'm drowning & can't seem to get my head up high enough for air. I'm hoping making lists will help. I think it will.

Maybe I'll add some of my crazy to my autobiography that I have to write for English class... I fucking HATE telling my class mates about myself. Rawr.

Ok... deep, cleansing breaths.

Or not.

And the cherry on my cake of discord & general pissed off-ed-ness is that my awesome bloggy buddy, Danni, is having eye troubles. This irks me, to say the least, 'cause she's freaking wonderful & I totally <3 her. I just don't think that wonderful, awesome people should have to suffer. There are plenty of assholes out there... Gah.

Point of mentioning this, however, is that this amazing, wonderful woman can use some encouragement & lots of hugs at the moment. So go over to The Whimsical Cottage, give that awesome Witchy woman a hug & send her some positive thoughts! =D

Thinking good things about other people makes me feel much better... ^-^

So if you're still here, (uber kudos if you are), I'm thinking good thoughts about you & hoping you're having a lovely Wednesday. I'm going to work today on finding some Zen (hey, I know it's somewhere... probably under my bed... o_O).

So in ending this rant, I want to say I love you all & am sending love & light your way. And in doing so, I already feel much more calm & much better in general. ^-^ It's funny... this is a perfect example of what I send out returning to me. ^-^

So. Happy mid-week my darlings & I'm hoping to have a Kyo post to share with you either tonight or tomorrow! I can't wait to introduce you to my giant, fluffy, orange sweety! =D

XOXOXOXO

Spring has Sprung!

2011-03-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

And I am so happy, I could pop. ^-^

The sun is out today & I'm sitting on my porch having just finished my first cup of coffee. Macha was out here with me, but is now back inside. She'll be at the door in about 2 minutes demanding to be let out again... o_O

Planting time is almost here! Happily, it will coincide almost perfectly with when I get paid again... YAY!

So that's one of the reasons I'm sitting out here... I'm planning what to plant this year! =D

Danni over at The Whimsical Cottage was planting sunflowers last I heard, but my porch unfortunately is facing North... not so great when it comes to getting sunshine for one's plants... ah well... I'm looking into good stuff to plant that likes the shade to partial shade. And I'm just so happy to have Spring here, I don't have room to be annoyed at the direction my porch faces. ^-^

Going to the Community Garden meeting tomorrow evening & feeling like an weenie for forgetting to email them my contact info two weeks ago... >_< Early onset Alzheimer's? Nope... just regular little 'ol forgetful me... le sigh... I have emailed them now, so better late than never, yes? I hope so. And pretty shortly I'll be off to go hang up fliers around town about the garden. ^-^

Along with plants for my porch, I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a small table with two chairs. I want to be able to sit outside & have some place to put my coffee cup... ^-^

Well then... Back to planning my porch garden! ^-^

Oh yes, and I hope all y'all had a most wonderful Ostara!

XOXO

2011-03-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's been what, 11 days since I was last here? It feels like months...
School's just about done for the quarter, with only two more classes (read: two more finals...) to go. I'm thrilled, 'cause I need a break.

Britt's dog (and mine by getting with her almost 8 years ago) died on the 11th. She lived with Britt's parents, as they have a nice yard & a house, and we have a slightly less than 500 sq. ft. apartment. Britt rescued Maxxie when she was a puppy from an abusive home. She picked up the puppy, took it home & her parents fell in love & let her keep her. ^-^

Maxxie was 15 yrs old, and had lived a long, happy & terribly spoiled life. She died of some kind of cancer though, which filled her body with grapefruit sized tumors. It was horrible to see her weak. The day before the day before she died, we went up to the house & stayed with her that day. I carried her up & down the stairs so she could go to the bathroom outside. She could hardly walk. My heart broke into a million sharp, awful pieces.

On the 11th, we went up to spend the day with her again. She hadn't moved in over 24 hrs according to Britt's mom, but lifted her head & wagged her tail when she saw Britt. They had one of the amazingly special bonds... ^-^

We helped her drink some water & rolled her over to her other side so she wouldn't get pressure sores. She seemed much more comfortable on that side, so that was a small happiness.

We left the house at about 1400, as Britt has to work at 1900 and hadn't slept yet. We'd headed up to the house as soon as we'd gotten off work at 0730.

Maxxie died at 1910 that evening, and I drove back to the hospital where we work to tell Britt. We'd both known it was coming, and she died comfortably snuggled in her bed, so that was a small blessing. She went to sleep & dreamed herself through the door to other paths.

I offered to go bury her that night, but Britt's mom said that they were going to wait until morning.

The next morning I went back up to the house & helped Britt's dad bury Maxxie. Britt stayed home, as she didn't want to remember her dog as anything but the living ball of furry love that she was. I totally understood. I, on the other hand, feel a need to care for the dead & dying. This is one reason I am going to become a Death Midwife & a hospice nurse. I feel called to care for the dying & then the body after they've left, as well as the families & friends who grieve.

It was good closure for me to bury her after wrapping her in her blanket. But it also ripped open the scars from when my cat, Kyo, died in 2008, followed four days later by Aunty Mel. Both from cancer. Both nearly undid me. Both still feel raw & heartbreaking. I still cry over my cat. He was a piece of my soul that died.

So now that I'm in tears, I'm done for now. I had hoped to post something a bit more zen, but that will have to wait for later. To everyone who has lost anyone to anything, especially cancer, I'm sending you love & hugs.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-03-08T10:48:00.000-08:00

For Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Outside my window... The sky is grey, but dry for the moment. I see the lingering raindrops on the empty metal baskets on my porch railings. Everything looks quiet, grey & green...

I am thinking... That I often forget how much I love & need my solitude. How different I am now from the child I was raised as. How much the same my parents are. How I wish they lived closer, yet am thankful that I was given the opportunity to find myself & my path by them moving away seven years ago.

I am thankful for... Women. Today is International Women's Day & the 100th anniversary at that. I am thankful for all the wonderful, strong, powerful women I know both in person & online. You all inspire me.

From the kitchen... Is silence. The heater just turned off, the coffee pot quietly keeps my liquid life-force warm & all is still.

I am wearing... my orange Halloween PJ pants with the black cats & pumpkins on them & my second favorite plaid flannel shirt. One I stole from my dad in high school... ^-^

I am creating... a surprise for a friend. It's almost finished...

I am going... a little nuts. I just got over a cold (possibly the flu...) & am sick again. I've never been sick so much as I have this Winter. Half of me just wants to hide in bed while the other half wants to run around & do stuff. I'm making my sides compromise by not going back to bed, but staying home & studying. Benefits all around...

I am reading... the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series. Aaaaaaand I love it! Funniest shit I've read in a while. And she writes good sexual tension/sex scenes. She also writes about topics that most fiction writers won't touch with a 10 foot pole, yet she does it in a way that's not sensational. I love these books. Edward/Ted Forrester is my favorite character... =D

I am hoping... That all the people I know who are searching for jobs are able to find good jobs soon! Y'all know who you are, and you're all in my thoughts! ^-^

I am hearing... The train whistle as it comes through town. The clock on the wall ticking away the moments. The buzzing that the lights make when they're on. My neighbors thumping & thudding around on the other side of the wall. Traffic driving up & down the street.

Around the house... The kitties are asleep & I'm the only one home. Britt's visiting her sister & nephew, my dad is out at a coffee shop & I'm blessedly home alone.

One of my favorite things... is blogging. I never thought when I began that I would love this so much. Not only do I have my own little corner of the aether to ramble in, I have met so many awesome people through blogging, that my life is much richer, much fuller than it was before.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I have a lab report & an exam in Microbiology tomorrow morning. I have a research paper & an exam in A & P II Thursday afternoon. Also on Wednesday, I take my dad to the airport to head home right after class that morning. I have a meeting that evening for the community garden & then I start my seven day work stretch that night. At least I can sleep when I'm dead, right? o_O

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

One of my all time favorite anime, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing was my obsession for the last two years of high school. My friends & I even cosplayed the characters at our first anime convention. I am a shameless fan girl & love to read good fan fiction. ^-^
I printed out pics & plastered them to the walls ceiling of my bedroom in high school as well. Apparently I'm feeling nostalgic today, so I think I'm going to go re-read some of my favorite fics now... ^-^

Come join The Simple Woman's Daybook! Clickety the link below:

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Mini post...

2011-03-07T08:52:00.000-08:00

We had an awesome day in Seattle yesterday! The sun was out & even though it was chilly, it was gorgeous! We ate lunch at Piroshky Piroshky, bought flavored honey sticks & fruit logs, and I got a nice, big bag of my favorite tea, Earl Grey Creme. Yum... We walked all over Pike's Place Market & then walked the seven-ish blocks to Pioneer Square for the Seattle Underground tour. I did indeed get some pictures, so I'll post them a bit later.

I've managed to get yet another cold... I've got so much mucous, I practically leave a slime trail wherever I go... TMI? Ah well...

I can't believe it's already Monday!!! Where did my weekend go??? o_O

Anywho... Lhu is insisting I quite typing so I can pet him, so I'll be back later to post my pictures.

XOXO

2011-03-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a wonderful, busy weekend!

We drove to Seattle to pick up my dad from the airport on Friday night.

Then yesterday evening, my dad, Britt, Scott, Heather & I all went bowling & out for dinner. We bowled two games & had a blast. For dinner we went to my favorite place, Bayou on Bay. It's an awesome Cajun restaurant. ^-^

Despite my requests not to, Scott & Heather also got me birthday presents... I got an awesome zombie poster, a wallet with built in brass knuckles (no, not real ones, but it's the thought that counts... XD) & a crossbow that's supposed to fire suction cup tipped darts. My dad and I found that it fires many other things as well...

The best part of my present, however, were two pieces of paper printed from Scott's printer... What did these two pieces of paper contain???

RAMMSTEIN TICKETS!!!

My favourite German band is coming to tour the US!!! After not touring here since 1998! And Combichrist is opening for them! I could just shit bunnies & die, I'm so excited.

We're off to Seattle now, so as long as I find my camera, there will be pictures! ^-^

XOXO

Procrastinating... who, me? o_O

2011-03-04T02:57:00.000-08:00

Good morning! Got a good chunk of the cleaning done last night, so now all I gotta do is organize all the shit Britt wants organized before my dad gets here tonight... @_@

Since I'm out of soda, I'm drinking blueberry lemonade from Smirnoff... tasty shit, this... And poking at my blog as a way of procrastinating... I made Britt go take a nap, as she was dead on her feet from working evening shift today. They filled just about every available bed in the whole damn hospital... I'm so glad I'm not working Staffing this weekend. Yeesh...

I've almost finished the project I'm currently working on, and will have it done tonight so I can send it out tomorrow. I'm terribly excited... XD

I'm all outta gas, so I won't be going to the beach tonight... I was rather looking forward to going to the water this Dark Moon, but I'll go to my porch with a bowl of water instead. Not that anything around here really needs more water, after all the rain, but it's the thought that counts.

I've got an insanely busy day/night tomorrow... I need to make a To Do list, so I don't forget anything important.

Well then... I'm outta here for now, but when I feel like procrastinating again, I'm sure I'll be back. Or perhaps by that time I'll have something specifically to post about... ^_~

Hope everyone's having a marvelous night! ^-^

XOXO

Community Garden & The Church

2011-03-02T19:40:00.001-08:00

I went to my first meeting this evening for the community garden that a local Lutheran church is planning. I'm terribly excited, as I've been wanting something like this for a while, but didn't know how to start/where to start. Now it's started, with people who have land, resources, etc. & I'm super stoked! It's still in the planning phase, but they're moving quickly so we can plant this Spring. ^-^ I'm hoping I'll be able to get a plot, as I'm very limited on what I can grow on my porch (it faces North & doesn't get much sun...) but would love to grow more veggies.

After the meeting, which went wonderfully, we had dinner with some of the other church members who were there for choir practice, etc.

I suppose I should back up & say that one of my best friend's (Lauren's) family belong to this church, and that's how I was notified about the garden.

So I ate dinner, which was tasty, with Joe, Renee & Katie, Lauren's parents & sister, and then Renee asked me if I was going to stay for the service.

Service? o_O

Apparently they have a 15 minute song & prayer service every Wednesday. I can only imagine my deer-in-the-headlights look...

Renee said she'd really love it if I stayed, so I stammered something & she told me to go sit with Jessie (who is super nice & friendly), but who I don't really know at all. I was going to stay, just to be nice & make Renee happy (she's like a second mom to me...), but once I walked into the sanctuary, my chest got so tight I was having trouble breathing. So I gave her & Joe hugs & told them I had to be getting home.

I would dearly love to know why the prospect of sitting through a church service (even a short one) gives me an anxiety attack. I feel utterly ridiculous. I grew up going to church every Sunday, from infancy through high school. But I feel such an aversion to being a part of a service, that it's something I feel physically. And I feel terribly silly because of it. >_<

So here I sit, still feeling like I'm going to toss my cookies, waiting for my coffee to warm up so I can cuddle with a nice, big mug & chill the fuck out.

It's times like this I think I might need therapy for issues from spending my childhood as a Christian, amongst other things pertaining to Christianity that give me anxiety or panic attacks... And I feel utterly foolish.

Especially because these are some of the nicest people I know. At least I know it's not them, but rather the institution of The Church that I have the issue with. Whatever my issues, I still feel like a ninny. But off to my coffee & perhaps to go snuggle Britt before she heads off to work for the night & I do homework & clean.

Here's hoping y'all are having a wonderful Wednesday! ^-^

XOXO

Goblins!!!!

2011-02-28T12:45:00.001-08:00

Started and finished (woohoo!) my first of probably many goblin dolls. ^-^

I adore him. He's not your average goblin, however... he fell in love with my miniature rose at first sight & demanded that he be allowed to guard her from the kitties (who occasionally try to nom her...).

Sure... Why not? I think he'll make an excellent rose guard... and he simply adores her to the point that he doesn't even make the tiniest bit of mischief for me! All he does all day & night is sing to her & play his tiny accordion. It's the cutest thing you ever saw... ^-^

I had planned on making him some clothes, but after a long debate with Nix (that would be the goblin, mind you) & a discussion with Danni about her goblins' clothing preferences, I decided to just give in & let him run around nekkid...

Hell, I run around my house nekkid most the time, why shouldn't he? o_O

Anywho... Here's some pictures of Nix. I'll try to get a picture of him singing to his rose when the sun (yes, SUN!!! =D) isn't shining at the window. ^-^

I'm off now to poke a few blogs & then go to bed 'cause I gotta work tonight. Hope y'all have a spectacular Monday! ^-^

XOXO

Back again

2011-02-27T10:11:00.000-08:00

*Blink... blinkblinkblink*

Um, where did February go? o_O And where have I been these past few weeks? I have no idea to either question... It's been a blur of work, homework & being sick. But I'm better (mostly) and now have time & compulsion to blog again. Yay! ^-^

I've been working on a few projects here & there, but I'm currently working on a tiny goblin doll. He's adorable. I'm hoping to finish painting him this morning & attach his arms & legs this afternoon. That was my goal yesterday, but then I slept all day... oops. In my defense, it was terribly cold out & I very much did not want to get out of my nice, warm cocoon of blankets. So I didn't...

There's a couple other things I've been poking & prodding at, but I'm mostly just working on homework, helping Britt get ready to start nursing school next quarter & trying to get my apartment in order for my dad's visit this coming weekend. And trying not to think about my birthday on Tuesday... @_@ Another year has just flown by... meep...

I'm not worried about aging (as I've decided the best way to do it is with grace & whatnot), but I always seem to find my birthday as a reminder of all the things I wanted to do or be or not be by the time I'm ___ (insert age here). I've gotten better the past few years about not being completely depressed on my birthday, but it's still not one of my favorite days of the year. Ah well... life goes on & I'll deal. ^-^

On the bright side, my dad (and maybe my mom, too) will be here on the 4th, and along with Britt, myself & two of my friends, we'll be going bowling for my birthday. I love bowling, even though half my balls end up in the gutter... lolz...

Well then... I'm off to paint a goblin & then head to bed so I can be up at a decent time this evening before work. I hope you have a most wonderful Sunday & I shall post pictures of my darling goblin when he's done. ^-^

Oh yes... I'm Danni's guest blogger for the last day of February Fairies over at The Whimsical Cottage. Head over tomorrow for some more wonderful fun! =D

XOXO

Slllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep... @_@

2011-02-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired... I feel like I'm filled with lead... or too much Mexican food. Yup. One too many enchiladas will do that to a person. Ah well... live & learn, then forget & do it again. ^_~

I'm so thrilled to have no classes tomorrow, that if I had any energy, I simply wouldn't be able to contain myself. For now, I'll be content with just a little, "YAY!"

I'm going to sleep like the dead when I get home this morning... and I'm terribly excited. ^-^

Since my brain has almost completely quit functioning, I suppose I should use the rest of those poor, tired little grey cells to figure out staffing for day shift... blarg...

Hoping all y'all have a supremely wonderful day today while I SLEEP. ^-^

xoxo

Good evening...

2011-02-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

Just finished my A & P test, and am sitting in the common area waiting to be let back into the classroom. It was a beautiful day today & an equally lovely evening. I only wish I could be outside, at the beach instead of in class. At least I can watch the sun set (kinda) from this window by the computer.

It's back to work tonight, but since I have no class tomorrow (til Monday, actually), I feel like I can just chill & do whatever tonight. ^-^ No homework due tomorrow!

I registered for classes for next quarter & got the math class I need for my last nursing pre-requisite & an english class. Both online. HUZZAH!!! I'm terribly excited to have both my classes online. ^-^

I'm looking forward to spending my free time at work tonight perusing blogs I've been out of touch with for the past little while. I'm hoping the internet at the hospital is working tonight... it wasn't last night, so I couldn't log on using my laptop. I'd just use the pc at my desk, but I'm unable to post comments due to it needing updates & me not having the access to update it. Ah well...

Well then... back to class to learn about the digestive system... o_O

A simple woman's daybook

2011-02-09T03:14:00.000-08:00

February 9th (I forgot it was Tuesday yesterday... and since I haven't been to bed yet, it's still my Tuesday...)

Outside my window... it's dark & very cold. The clear skies have made for super chilly days & nights, but I think the break in the rain is wonderful.

I am thinking... of all the things I wanted to do but didn't get to on my days off... I accomplished quite a bit, so I'm trying to not be disappointed that there's not more hours in a day. And trying to not regret that I eventually have to sleep...

I am thankful for... my tax return. It helped me get caught up on bills & get all of Britt's school expenses for the coming quarter taken care of. I cannot even begin to describe the immense relief I feel.

From the kitchen... comes the sounds of Lhu nomming his kitty kibble, while half-way perching in his food dish. Britt's making refried beans & Phiphi's trying to see just how close he can sit to the heater before he spontaneously combusts.

I am wearing... jeans & a brown long john shirt... I love long johns... They make me immensely happy. On my feet are purple hiking socks from REI... I am in love with their socks.

I am creating... a spell for a friend.

I am going... to bed as soon as I start the spell... then to school in the morning & to work tomorrow night.

I am reading... still the text books... but I've become obsessed with the Anita Blake vampire hunter series by Laurell K. Hamilton. I've burned through four books in as many days. They're awesome & hilarious. ^-^ I also got The Queen of Swords in the mail today... I am in love with Judy Grahn. She writes her words directly on my heart. She speaks them to my soul. This is the second book in her Queens quartet. The Queen of Wands is the first. Read them. They're magic.

I am hoping... that I can chill out enough to go to sleep & that my new pillow helps with my neck pain & headaches... even just a little.

I am hearing... the fan over the stove going full blast... apparently there was something below the burner when Britt turned it on... o_O

Around the house... kitties lounge about, Britt is eating beans & I'm typing & watching Lhu play "King of the Mountain" on the new kitty condo. ^-^

One of my favorite things... was seeing my sister-in-law's face when we brought over the baby bouncy play seat thingy for Triston. It was like a little kid at Christmas. I love to get her things for the baby, and it's like getting her a present as well. ^-^

A few plans for the rest of the week: School, work, house-cleaning, reading & perhaps crafting... I'm hoping I find my crafty mojo, wherever it may be hiding... I'm rather missing it as of late...

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Inanna... The Queen of Swords is a modern retelling of her journey to the Underworld & return again.

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

A simple woman's day book

2011-02-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

February 1st...

Outside my window... It's mostly quiet & very cold. I can hear the buzz from the light attached to the side of our apartment building.

I am thinking... about how excited I am that tonight's night #7 at work, and I have the next seven off.

I am thankful for... my heater & the awesome slippers my mom sent me for xmas.

From the kitchen... Smells of homemade strawberry pancakes still linger from dinner. Who knew that Kool-aid was such an awesome thing to add to pancake batter? =D

I am wearing... bright orange Halloween pj pants & a grey tank top with purple flowers. And the mukluks my mom sent me. Also various shades of purple...

I am creating... nothing at the moment. Lots of ideas knocking about in my head, but they're still just ideas...

I am going... to work tonight & then to school as soon as I'm off in the morning.

I am reading... Microbiology and Anatomy & Physiology text books... @_@

I am hoping... tonight is an easy night at work... my brain is fried.

I am hearing... two outta the three kitties noisily clean themselves... *lick, lick, lick, SLURP*

Around the house... it's pretty quiet, but for the cleaning kitties...

One of my favorite things... Is to wake up before anyone else & sit & enjoy the morning. I love to watch the sunlight play across the walls of the apartments facing my back porch. And drink hot cocoa or tea while I'm having my quiet time. ^-^

A few plans for the rest of the week: Homework, house cleaning & hopefully some crafting. I'm going to get the container gardening book I want on Friday, so garden planning too.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing... Aaaaaaaahahahaha...

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-01-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

For Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Outside my window... It's dark already & I can hear the traffic as is flows up & down the street.

I am thinking... Not much at the moment. Just relaxing & getting ready to have a nice last night off before starting my week of work.

I am thankful for... All the wonderful, strong women (and the few guys, too) that I've met through blogging. You all enrich my life, inspire me & give me love & support when I need it. You help me Thrive.

From the kitchen... The smell of koffee beckons me out of the bedroom whenever my cup runs low.

I am wearing... Just a pair of Halloween undies, complete with ghosts all across the butt & a big "BOOOOOO".

I am creating... Shelves to hang on my wall. I'm learning to paint marigolds so I can paint them on the shelves.

I am going... Nowhere tonight. And I'm thrilled.

I am reading... The Queen of Wands by Judy Grahn (again). Her words wrap themselves around my heart... flow through my veins & become a part of me. They glow through my smiles & flow down my face in my tears. She breaks my heart & sews it back together. She writes words of power & magic.

I am hoping... That this headache I woke up with goes away...

I am hearing... Traffic outside my window, the sound of keys tap tapping as I type & Battlestar Galactica coming from the living room, where my womyn wonder sit enraptured. Dan Fogelberg serenades me softly from my pc.

Around the house... The kitties are snoring, the dishes & laundry patiently await my attentions... But I'm hiding in the bedroom for just a wee bit longer...

One of my favorite things... Is waking up early, feeling fully rested. Making tea & sitting on my porch with Macha, just relaxing & being happy. Tea & kitty snuggles make my world go 'round.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I start my seven nights on tomorrow night, so I'll be working this week. I have a test in my A & P II class on Thursday. I want to work on my garden plans & work on the shelf I'm painting. I want to find ways that I can Thrive, especially during my work week. I want to get my house in order... when my house is in disarray, I feel in disarray.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

"Longer than there's been fishes in the ocean,
Higher than any bird ever flew,
Longer than there's been stars up in the heavens,
I've been in love with you."

Someday, I'll play this for Britt on my guitar & sing it to her... Sometimes I sing it to her when we're on long car rides & she's fallen asleep... But very quietly, so as not to wake her. ^-^

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Thrive

2011-01-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

Wow... I can't even believe how different I feel today. I feel really good. ^-^

I got some really good sleep last night & feel just wonderful today. I sat on the porch and ate breakfast & drank tea with Macha this morning. She poked around the flower pots & wanted to know when I was planning on getting her another cat nip plant & then decided to come nap on my lap. ^-^

And as I sat out there this morning, after I'd finished cutting away some dead stuff from my mints which survived the winter (yay!!!), the sky started to clear & I saw BLUE!!!

I've been thinking on & off about what I want my word to be for this year. I'd kind of settled on 'Well-being', but it didn't seem to totally encompass my desires for myself this year. Then today, as I was reading Dark Mother's blog, I saw a picture of the necklace she bought with her word for the year on it (which is Flourish, btw...) and over top of that I saw my word, clear a day.

Thrive.

I looked back on the post she posted earlier this month when she announced her word, flourish. In it, she gave the definition. Part of the definition is "to thrive".

This word encompasses everything I want for myself this year. My health & wellness desires, my desires for at home, work & school. I've been contemplating how so often I just coast through life. While this is ok & necessary at times, I feel that all too often I just exist. I definitely am not thriving.

So. I want to thrive. Like a plant reaching for the sun, branching out & getting healthier & fuller each day. And also like a plant, there is always pruning that needs to be done in order to help the plant be as happy & healthy as possible. ^-^

So. Starting now, I'm going to go through this day & all the rest looking for ways I can help myself thrive. I know I'll still have down days. I'm human, after all, and not immune. However, even when I need to rest & take a break from parts of life than may be getting me down, that rest will rejuvenate me, helping me to thrive in the days ahead.

Warning: Whinning Below.

2011-01-21T10:44:00.000-08:00

Some days I feel like I'm clawing my way up a glass mountain... Today is one of those days.

I'm feeling like I'll never get caught up on my bills, my house work, my home work, my life in general.

I'm feeling frustrated, because all I want to do is just be quiet. To be still. To wait for my Self to wake back up, stretch & go about the things I like to do. But those who love me are worried that I'm getting more depressed (which I'm not), because I'm not doing "all the things I usually like to". I totally understand why this is a concern, but feeling pressured to do things simply for the sake of doing something, instead of nothing, is making me feel like I'm drowning or being smothered. However, I am in full agreement that spending as much time in bed as I have been is not so great. So I'm going to have to work on finding that elusive balance between listening to what my body is telling me it wants (quiet & rest) and being lazy. I think once I have this worked out, things will get back on track.

And now that I've got that out, I think that there's house work & home work to be worked on & bills to either be paid or arranged to be paid.

I also need to go buy some more lavender & take another bath...

But before I do anything, I'm going to drink some koffee & take some advil for this damn headache. And then I'm going to focus on chilling the fuck out & just breathing. I'll be ok, I know I will. And perhaps I'll do some spinning... few things zen me like spinning.

Well then. We have a plan. Put PJs & slippers on, take advil, drink koffee & spin. Sounds good to me. ^-^ And I feel a bit better already.

Wring me out, already...

2011-01-20T15:49:00.000-08:00

le sigh...

The weather is really starting to get to me... I'm so sick of the grey & the cold & the rain... I feel perpetually soggy. I'm going to go take the advice of Dark Mother & go take a bath... I'm just hoping I'm not totally out of lavender...

Hopefully I'll feel better soon... all I want to do is... nothing. I ended up sleeping for 16 hours last night... @_@ I went to bed at 2100, woke up at 0300 & then went back to sleep until I got up (finally) at 1300 this afternoon. Ack.

Ok... off to the bath... just me & my zombie ducky. And probably the kitties, although they (hopefully) won't be actually in the tub with me.

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

2011-01-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

Another blog? Yep...

2011-01-18T09:18:00.000-08:00

Alrighty folks... I started a weight loss blog to deal with whatever comes my way this time around on my journey to a happier, healthier me. Here's where to find me if you're interested. And if you're not, no worries, I'll still see all y'all right here for whatever else I mutter about. ^-^

http://completely--losing--it.blogspot.com/

And yes, I do think my title is terribly clever... Ahahahahahahahaha... ahem.

Alrighty. I've got to get the Britty up so she doesn't miss her math test this afternoon. And I have homework to do as well. So... Off to school!

XOXO

PS... Being the dork that I am, I didn't think to start this new blog with this account, but got another one. **facepalm**
Is there a way I can kind of transfer that blog to this account? Anyone? Thanks!

Monster Mondays (even though it's mostly Tuesday...)

2011-01-18T03:59:00.000-08:00

Ah, good morning! No school today makes it the perfect day for some house work & some home work! And then, after that, I can craft until my fingers fall off. Or until I'm too sleepy to see straight. XD

I was all excited to log on this morning & reply to comments & comment on blogs & what not, only to realize that for some reason, my computer at work won't let me comment on some people's blogs. Um, ok... my pc is possessed by... something. Ah well. I'll just have to come back when I get home. ^-^

So, until later this morning, I hope y'all are getting good sleep! ^-^

xoxo

Good Morning!

2011-01-16T03:16:00.000-08:00

So the first post after not posting in a while is always the hardest. I don't know why I don't keep posting, because I love to blog & read all of your blogs. But once I stop, it's really hard for me to even log back in. So I did my first post since December as something easy, just to take the pressure off. ^-^

Now for a 'real' post, in which I do more than just share a music video.

I spent the last little while either terribly busy or depressed, but I'm feeling much better now.

School's started again, and I'm only taking two classes this quarter. I got onto the wait list for the LPN program (woohoo!), and will hopefully be starting that either in the Fall or next Winter.

Because I'm feeling much better, I feel crafty again (YAY!) and have started to paint a mini shelf like thing. Both Britt & I got new sketch books to carry with us as we muck about, I have a few ideas tumbling around in my head for a doll or two that I'd like to make. I missed everyone I talk to here so much, that I finally made myself come back. ^-^

I really do love talking to y'all & reading about what you're up to. You inspire me in all sorts of ways, and I missed you terribly. I am happy to be back to my blog & all you wonderful people!

So! I'm off to find some lunch, but I will see y'all again soon.

XOXO

PS... A note about the holiday cards... They're still coming, but since I spent a good chunk of December either busy or depressed, they're gonna be Valentines instead. ^-^ Still holiday cards, just not the holiday I intended... Ah well. That's kinda how things work here... better late then never... XD

Amanda Palmer & The Young Punx - "Map of Tasmania" Music Video

2011-01-16T01:34:00.000-08:00

For my first post in, like, forever, I would love to share with you some more AFP goodness! =D

I LOVE THIS. She is totally one of my heroes, and not just because she wears awesome merkins in this video.

I now feel possessed to go home after my shift tonight & make merkins... Perhaps I shall. ^-^

Proper post coming soon. Perhaps with pictures. Probably with pictures. See y'all soon!

XOXO

Squee!!!

2010-12-27T09:46:00.000-08:00

In an hour & a half we'll be on our way to the Harry Potter exhibit at the science center in Seattle... YAY!!! =D

I promise a proper post (hopefully with pics!) in the near future! But for now, I must go put on some clothes so we can GO!!!

xoxo

Merry Christmas! =D

2010-12-25T05:36:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, my loves!

It's 0530 in the morning, and I have no idea why I'm up... o_O

I helped the brother in law unload a trailer full of wood yesterday afternoon, and a sore as hell today... So I'm off to take a bubble bath. ^-^

I managed to get a tree! =D

It's not hanging from the ceiling as planned, but rather sitting on my counter... I'll post pics soon. I also finished our stockings! ^-^

Alas, my internet is only temporarily fixed... I'm using a power cord to my netbook to power my router... It may explode at any moment... XD

So without further ado, I wish you all a very merry Christmas! I wish peace & joy & love for all of you & your families & friends. Have a wonderful, magic filled day my darlings! ^-^

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Damh the Bard - Noon of the Solstice

2010-12-21T04:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Solstice, my dears! ^-^

Wanted to share the song that's been stuck in my head all night. Hope you enjoy!

And as the internet at my house is down until at least Friday, I'm wishing all y'all a most wonderful Yule & a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah & a wonderful Kwanza! And just to cover any other holidays I missed, Happy Holidays to all! =D

May each of us enjoy our time with family & friends, and not let stress get the best of us. ^-^

Knowing that I've got you lot for friends is the best holiday gift ever. You bring light & love & laughter into my life. You are wonderful! ^-^

Let us welcome the Holly King & the returning light (and warmth... I hope...)

I hope everyone has a most wonderful day, no matter what or how you choose to celebrate.

Love & hugs & kisses ^-^

XOXOXOXO

PS... If you celebrate a holiday I did miss, please let me know... I love to learn about new stuff like that! :D

Simon's Cat in 'Santa Claws'

2010-12-19T02:52:00.000-08:00

And THIS is why I'll never get to have a Christmas tree unless I hang it from the ceiling. XD

Epica - Chasing the Dragon

2010-12-17T04:12:00.000-08:00

Out with the old & in with the new!

2010-12-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

Good morning... afternoon... whatever...

o_O

I originally thought about posting this post in response to a question Amber from yellow flower.
She asked me if Britt & I have any Winter holiday traditions. At the time I told her we didn't, as we've only successfully not despised the Winter holidays since last Yule. ^-^

I was slightly mistaken, however. Last year, after I determined to enjoy every part of the year for what it added to the whole, Britt & I decided that we were going to make it a tradition at our place to do "Winter Cleaning" on the 25th of December. It's kind of our way of opposing the disgusting excess to which a good number of Americans indulge in for Christmas.

I was lucky to come from a family who always had very modest Christmas gift giving. My parents made the holidays about family & friends, giving to others (via time, volunteering, etc) more than receiving material gifts.

I remember one year, I think I was 8 or so, that my parents just didn't have any money for gifts. They were rather upset, as they thought my brother, sister & I would be upset, but in one of those "From the mouths of babes" moments, we informed my parents that we didn't care, because we had our family & that's what mattered. Looking back, I wish I could have taken a picture of their expressions. Priceless... shock mixed with pride. ^-^ They both probably teared up a bit... lolz...

No one else understood though. A few people found out somehow that my family "wasn't having Christmas" *facepalm* and got my siblings & I some gifts. It was truly sweet & kind of them, but I pitied them for not understanding that we still would have "had Christmas", even if we weren't opening gifts. I've never understood the importance to which people place on gift giving.

Britt's family was the opposite end of the spectrum. I didn't believe her when she told me, until the first Christmas we were together & I saw it with my own two eyes. Her extended family nearly bankrupt themselves buying shit for each other. It's the most insane vision of ridiculous excess I've ever seen. Very few things actually shock me, but this is one of them. Presents piled higher than I am tall (I'm almost five & a half feet...), taking up most of the living room space. Completely. Insane. But that's how her family prove to each other that they love each other. By trying to buy the most or the best gifts. And expecting to receive at least as much back. It hurts my brain. After seeing this, it was no wonder to me why Britt loathed the holidays.

Her hatred for the Winter holidays made me dislike them as well, because she was always so miserable. Add to that two or three Christmases ago when we went to pick her mother up from jail & ended up with her living with us for a few months (the worst time of my life, I shit you not), and here we have a recipe for some serious holiday hatred.

Now for the light at the top of the tree... ^-^

I've considered myself a Pagan for several years, and a Witch for almost as long. As such, I've moved away from the Christian holidays I was raised with & into the Pagan ones they were borrowed from. I still acknowledge Christmas in that I always call my family on the 24th & 25th & wish them a merry Christmas. We also go to Britt's parents' house for dinner on the 24th. Celebrating the family aspect of Christmas has always been important to me, and I see no reason to change it. ^-^

The thing Britt & I have changed, however, is that on Christmas day, we don't give gifts. We usually don't have any money anyways, lolz... We get/make each other little things all throughout the year. It doesn't make sense to either of us to buy a bunch of stuff for one day. Not that I'm against gift giving. I love to make & give gifts to people! But everything in moderation! ^-^

What we do on Christmas day is clean our house. We open the windows & let in the freezing cold air. We do a pre-Spring cleaning.

Our thought behind this new tradition is that we want to start the new year fresh. We don't want to take into the new year any old dust & cobwebs (no matter how much I love cobwebs...) of the literal or emotional kind. It's the day we start preparing for new things, new opportunities, new friends, new anything & everything.

We go through our clothes & make stop at Goodwill. We scrub & scour everything. It's exhausting, but both Britt & I felt so good, so wonderful & happy after doing this last year, we decided that it was worth making a tradition. We're finding a new way to combat her past darkness & shining light into all the dark corners. Nothing negative will get away from this cleaning, and we are better for it afterward!

This year I'm also going to add to the physical cleaning a spiritual side. I'm not quite sure exactly what, yet, but I think that I'll take some things from Serenity Athenina over at the Domestic Pagan from her awesome post about Winter magic for your home. Check it out! ^-^

Well then. That about sums it up as to why Britt & I no longer cringe once Halloween is over. If you're still hating the Winter holidays, I fully encourage you to revamp them in ways that fulfill YOU & make YOU happy! ^-^

Hoping all of you have most wonderful Winter holidays, no matter how you choose to celebrate them. This is the season celebrating the return of light. Warm your hearts with friends & family. Warm your hands with steaming mugs of eggnog or cocoa. Find your inner light & let it shine forth from you, illuminating all you see & do. Do things that have meaning to YOU & you will find peace & fulfillment. Blessed be!

XOXO

Monday Morning Mutterings

2010-12-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

Good morning! It's Monday, which means I've only got today & tomorrow off before heading back to work Wednesday night... @_@

So NOT ready to go back, but oh well...

Still trying to figure out the holiday cards... and now also trying to figure out what I'm making for the few people I'm actually making something for. Meep...

That stupid muscle I pulled in my neck yesterday hurts far worse today & is driving me up the wall... I think I may have to take a hot shower & rub something on it. Huzzah for Tiger Balm & White Flower Oil!

First thing to do on my list today is to finish baking cookies!

And apparently miss my mouth & pour tea down my face & chest... o_O

Oops...

Anywho... I'm off to finish baking & drink some more tea. Macha promised to help with the present making, but I'm thinking she's more of the "I'll supervise" types... XD

Have a great Monday everyone! ^-^

Random Ramblings... ^-^

2010-12-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

Whew! Keeping day time, normal-person hours these past few days is totally making me all wonky! I was up for about 24 hours yesterday, slept for about four hours this morning & then was up again at 0800. It feels like it's super late, but according to my clocks, it's only 1915... o_O

Such a weird feeling... ^-^

So Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows pt. 1 was awesome! =D

I can't wait for the second part!

Desty was uber happy to have a break from hubby & baby... she said that she's never been so thankful to just sit & do nothing.

She got here about 0930 this morning & I cooked breakfast for her & Britt (and me, of course...). We hung around the apartment for little while & then went to our movie. Afterward we just hung around some more. She played with the kitties while Britt painted a bit & I made soup for lunch.

Then I took her back home & napped with my kitties in front of the heater for like an hour... lolz... warm toes & snugly cats = bliss. What made it even better is that I was dozing on the living room floor, with the soft glow of my xmas lights shining on me. I love holiday lights! I think I may leave them up all year... Hmmmm...

Anywho. I'm off to go wake up Britt, who is taking a real nap in the bed, so that we can work on holiday cards!!!

Heads up, if you're getting a card from me, I can almost guarantee it will be late... But fear not, that's why there's 12 whole days of Christmas... for those of us who just can't get shit done on time. XD

Oh yes... and if you missed the original post & want a card from me, email me your snail mail to absynthe_and_arsenic@yahoo.com & I'll send you a card! ^-^

Hope all y'all have a wonderful night! ^-^

XOXO

Saturdaaaaaaaaaaaayyy...

2010-12-11T09:25:00.000-08:00

Good morning! =D

I'm standing in my wonderfully clean kitchen/living room, sipping koffee with peppermint creamer, waiting for my sis in law to get here. We're going, along with Britt, to go see Harry Potter today!!! Squee!!!

It's kind of a tradition that we take her to go see Harry Potter, whenever a new one comes out. ^-^
The baby will be with daddy today, so we get Destinee all to ourselves for a few hours & she gets to take a brief break from all the busybusybusyness. I think it's a win-win situation here. ^-^

In other news, I got my holiday lights hung up last night (early this morning... whatever.) I had two strands, which only go around my kitchen & part way down the hallway, but I'm supremely pleased with them! And now I get to buy more lights to finish up the hallway & the living room. =D

Anywho... Desty just called & I'm gonna go pick her up from her hubby's cousin's house a few minutes away. ^-^

Have a most wonderful Saturday my darlings! =D

XOXO

It's Friday... and I'm DONE with Finals!!! =D

2010-12-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

So I've spent the last hour happily munching left over pizza & perusing the blogs I follow. But now, since I've caught up on my reading, I think it's time for putting up the xmas lights I've been meaning to hang for the past two weeks... 0_O

Now that finals are over (WOOHOO!!!), I've got lots of time! YAY!!!

So I think that today, as I sip my spiced pear cider, I'll hang the lights, do the dishes, vacuum... and then figure out what bills need to go out today. Perhaps when that's done, though, Britt & I will go fake tree hunting again... I would really like to get a tree in here ASAP...

I've also got wreath making, holiday card making & present making on my To Do list, so hopefully I'll get some of those started today as well. ^-^

Well then... I'm off to hang up the lights! Hope y'all have a most wonderful Friday! ^-^

XOXO

Huzzah!

2010-12-08T04:39:00.001-08:00

Last night of my seven on! Woohoo!!!

=D

I'm so excited for some days off to clean & craft! And with my last final on Thursday, I'll finally be able to just chill out & not worry about homework, class & tests! ^-^

After I get off work, I'll be heading to Lynden to visit with my sister in law & her baby.

@_@

I just realized... I haven't posted any pics of him! What kind of aunty am I??? I'll have to remedy this horrible oversight soon...

Anywho...

I have grand plans to hang the xmas lights, clean my house & study for my chemistry final as well tomorrow. I'm excited for the first two tasks, not so much for the second. Meh... I'm so ready to be done with this class... It's not that I dislike chemistry. Quite the opposite, actually, I just have had quite enough of the disorganized, moody disaster that is my teacher. Oh well. One more day of class & I'm DONE! =D

I best get back to hunting down staff requests for day shift, so I'll pop back in later & show off my supremely adorable nephew. ^-^

xoxo

Monday Mutterings...

2010-12-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

I should be in bed, happily asleep, so that I can be bright eyed & bushy tailed at work tonight. Or at least somewhat awake... o_O

But instead, I caught up on my NCIS episodes, poked through some blog posts, began my in depth research about successful e-zines, researched ipads & Wacom nIntuos4 tablets, and decided that neither are quite what I'm looking for. Don't get me wrong, they're both fantastic, but still not quite what I'm looking for. I'm actually not quite sure what I'm looking for, but know that neither of them is quite it (not that I'd complain if Santa happened to drop either... or both? off at my house... ) Huh...

^_~

Anywho... Along with a bunch of other lovely bloggers, I'm making holiday cards this year. If you'd like a snail mail card, please email your address to:

absynthe_and_arsenic@yahoo.com

Just to let you know, they will probably arrive late. I rarely get anything out on time, I'm aiming for several days before Yule, but like I said...

I'll be late to my own funeral... lolz...

XD

Anywho, I'd love to send you a card if you'd like one!

Well then... I'm either off to go to bed & try & sleep (so not sleepy...) or to work on chemistry. Either way, I'll be doing something I've got to do eventually. ^-^

Happy Monday to y'all & I hope you're having a marvelous day! ^-^

xoxo

@_@

2010-12-02T10:47:00.000-08:00

The paper is written. I have now been up for 29 hours. I'm going to go lay in bed until I must get up for chemistry. Unless I skip class today. Hm... Tempting... ^_~

Anywho... Perhaps a post of substance tonight whilst at work? Perhaps...

Nighty night my darlings!

Oh. And for all of those who may need it, here's some extra big hugs & kisses. ^-^
And since I ganked the image from this site, I figured I'd be a good little blogger & cite my sources. XD

Blehhhhhhh...

2010-12-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

My brain is refusing to cooperate... o_O

It knows I have to have this paper finished by 1000 tomorrow morning, yet it's refusing to focus...

FOCUS, DAMMIT!!!

Ack.

I think I need to learn to write my papers at the beginning of the school quarter, when I'm still excited to be starting out, as opposed to the end, where I'm just so very ready to be finished.

x_X

It also doesn't help that the topics I find interesting I have a difficult time finding peer reviewed article on. At least free peer reviewed articles. Gah... Does no one else find it interesting that so many other cultures had/have more than just two genders???
And if they do, then why must they charge so much for their articles? Ack.

Anywho... I'm done ranting for the moment, and off to try & find some usable resources for my paper, as all the resources I thought I had, aren't terribly useful after all.

-_-#

Hoping everyone had a wonderful first day of December! ^-^

xoxo

3am musings...

2010-11-30T03:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here, on my living room floor, curled up in front of the heater with a mug of candy cane cocoa. Enjoying the silence of the wee hours of the morning, before the cats wake up to terrorize the house/each other... Before Britt gets up & we go about our daily business & go to school. It's so nice & quiet. ^-^

There's a million things I could/should be doing right now, but I'm insisting that they wait for a bit. I'm fully enjoying doing nothing right now. ^-^

I'm feeling very introspective as of late, and I'm terribly excited for school to finish so I can focus my, well, focus, inward. ^-^

Going back to sitting here & doing nothing now, so I hope you have a most wonderful day. ^-^

xoxo

P.S. Clicky the pic for an awesome shop! =D

Black Friday...

2010-11-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

... I hate the day after Thanksgiving. Mostly due to the fact that it almost always ends up on my payday, which means I have bills to pay, errands to run & grocery shopping to do, but all the damn psychos out there make me want to hide in my apartment all day.

I tried to convince Britt that we didn't need to to go out for anything until tonight, hopefully after all the crazies have spent their entire net worth on random shit... But I got vetoed, as we really need a heater & she's worried they'll all be gone if we wait too long. Sigh...

So as soon as she gets up from her nap, eats some of the massive amount of turkey we have left over & gets ready, we'll go brave the insanity that is American consumerism at it's best(worst).

Ack...

x_x

I wanted to wear my machete strapped to my belt, you know, just to encourage people to give me my space and all, but I'll probably be shot down with that idea too... le sigh. ^_~

Hope all y'all are having a good day! ^-^

TURKEY! (Uber pic heavy!!!)

2010-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

Alrighty. So today I baked my very first turkey. I feel that it went rather well. Nothing burned or exploded, and it turned out moist enough to eat without it being necessary to slather it in gravy. Not that that's a bad idea anyways...

First a wee bit of back story to explain. We usually go to Britt's parents' house on holidays, as they live about 45 minutes away & my family lives about 1500 miles away. We all decided not to have Thanksgiving at their house this year, due to snow & that Britt is working today/tonight.

So. Britt's dad drops by a few days ago & brings us a turkey on his way to bring her younger sister & her husband a turkey as well. It's very sweet of him. He's a wonderful guy like that. ^-^

The only thing is, he brings us a 23 lb. bird...

23 lbs.

There's only two of us & three cats... omfg, what am I going to do with it all???

@_@

I'm having visions of eating turkey until next Christmas... X_X

So I'm going to get my mom's recipe for turkey soup... and make a few turkey pot pies... and I'm not quite sure what else. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Seriously. ^-^

Well then. Onto the massive amount of pictures! =D

This is my newly cleared & slightly re-arranged counter. See? No more dishes. I have conquered...

And this is my stove, graced by one of Britt's wonderful mixed media projects. ^-^

Here we have my cookbooks, etc. & the all important koffee pot. And the turkey pan, which almost wasn't big enough... @_@

Our recipe box, just 'cause it's awesome...

Soaking the bird in the tub, as it wouldn't fit into my sink. Yep. 23 lbs. of bird = too big for tiny-ass kitchen sink.

GIBLETS!!!

I ended up cutting the neck into three parts in order to fit it into the baggie I placed the giblets into, as I'm going to be making broth with them later. One of the parts I sliced was just perfect & I was able to see & poke at the spinal cord. It was so cool. XD

Bird in the pan. Woohoo for not making a mess (so far...)

Top view, compared to my stove... So. Much. Turkey... @_@

I mixed a bunch of herbs together & then mixed that mixture with olive oil. I then had way too much fun separating the skin from the muscle so I could rub in the herb mixture. That, too, was way cool... ^-^

Um, yes... I then realized that I had put the turkey in the pan before I had bagged it... Oops...

Trying to figure out how to hold open the bag & transfer turkey all at the same time...

I ended up sticking my left hand/forearm (like almost up to my elbow...) into the cavity & then looking like some strange, turkey-wielding maniac, managed to heave the thing into it's bag. There was much profanity. My cats were terribly helpful & just stared, praying I'd drop the damn thing...

But I managed not to, and here we are, all ready to bake! Huzzah! =D

Three and a half hours later, all baked & ready to eat!

Omnomnomnomnommy!!!

Phiphi begs...

As does Lhu... He insists he's far too adorable to not give turkey to... So they both get some turkey, but Phiphi insists, he demands...

MORE!!!

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have had a most wonderful day!

xoxo

btw... yes, I am wearing the most awesome fleece footy pajamas in the world. They even have stars on them that glow in the dark. I love it! XD