Archive

Hey there, so glad you popped by! I've moved to a new address, however, and you can find my new blog at: The Weaver's Apprentice as of Monday, January 26, 2015. I hope you'll come visit me there! See you soon! XOXO

Friday, August 16, 2013

Empowerment from where I least expected it...

Two weeks ago I did the most amazing and incredibly crazy thing I have ever done in my entire 28 years.

For Christmas, Britt signed me up for the Pacific Northwest Spartan Sprint. And even though I had every intention of training hard & getting fit, I didn't. But come race day, I still went. I still followed through, even though I had desperately wracked my brains for a way out.

It was a 3.5 mile course with 18 obstacles. I climbed over four foot high walls. I boosted people, and then got boosted myself, over five foot high walls, a six foot high wall and an inverted wall (it leans toward you and you have to climb up & over. Yeesh.)

Crawling, crawling, crawling...

I climbed up, over and down a twenty foot high cargo net. I crawled through more barbed wire covered mud and water than I thought possible. I carried a big ass log while pulling a concrete block on a chain. I carried a 40 pound sandbag up and down a hill, and a sixty pound concrete block around.

I also did 90 burpees, since I can't climb a rope to save my life (I gave it a good try though), I wasn't able to get my spear to stick in the hay bales I had to throw it at, and I fell off the transverse wall (my belly got in my way... lolz...)

I worked as a team with several other racers to crawl up an insanely steep quarter mile hill of hard-packed mud, once again beneath a web of barbed wire.

Clawing my way up that hill, helping others up and allowing myself to be helped when I needed it helped me crawl up out of the funk I've been in for the past few months.

More crawling... I wore through the knees of my pants. And the knees of my knees... 

The last obstacle was to crawl up yet another muddy hill, beneath yet more barbed wire, slide down the other side into a pit of waist high water, swim under a wall and then crawl up a "slippery wall", using knotted ropes. After that, we got to run through some "Gladiators" (who reminded me of muscle-y boffers...) and then the finish line.


It took me four hours and 18 minutes to finish. But I finished. And I did everything. I didn't quit.

The Spartan racing motto is, "Sign up. Show up. Never give up."

And no matter what got thrown my way that day, I didn't give up. I have never been so proud of myself for anything. Ever.

Finished!!!

Since I ran through that finish line, I've felt like I can do anything. I have never felt so proud of myself before. I have lots of Self love, but I've never before felt such a sense of pride in myself. I feel pretty fucking amazing. ^-^

And even though all those endorphins have worn off, and I'm back to my everyday life, I have a new sense of depth that I feel within myself.

Running (okay, walking) that race was the best thing I could have done right now. I feel like everything is within my grasp, all I have to do is keep going. Keep trying. Never stop, never give up.

I still struggle a little bit with feeling like my life is on the verge of flying apart, but I'm now pretty sure that whatever does happen, I'll be able to cope and able to get through it and out the other side to something better.

After I'd hosed off & changed. I am fucking invincible. 


Aroo!!!

XOXO