I got myself a second job... which is why I've been even more scarce than usual around here. o_O
I now also work at the little cafe/gift shop at our local airport. It's called Halibut Henry's... although we don't sell any halibut, and neither the owner or any of my coworkers are named Henry.
At any rate... I usually only work one of my jobs a day, but occasionally I'll work both. More rarely, I'll end up working both several days in a row, and then I'll start to feel like the insomniac narrator in Fight Club.
Unfortunately, I have yet to wake up with Brad Pitt in the room next to me... but I digress.
Needless to say, I have rather limited free time as of late. This kind of sucks, but at the same time, I am more inspired to use the time I do have to do the things I really want to do, rather than just loaf about the house or sleep.
When I do work both jobs for a few days in a row though, I have a constant stream of sleep deprivation/insomnia quotes (also from Fight Club) running amok in my poor little brain. Once I get to the point where I feel like I'm neither really asleep or awake, but somewhere swirling in between, I occasionally have moments of startling clarity.
In some of these moments, I've grasped onto that clarity the both hands and run with it.
I've written down the things I'd like to do, to be, to accomplish. Usually I'll sit and day dream, but I never write anything down. It's like if I write it down, it's suddenly real and I've admitted to myself something I really, truly want.
I'm terrified of really, truly wanting anything, because if I don't want it, then I can't be disappointed if I don't make it happen. I am safe from letting myself down. Again.
Since I don't want my life to be just a copy of a copy of a copy, I am working on really taking a look at what's important to me, what matters, what I'll actually have regrets about if I don't do it.
That's partly why I'm working two jobs. I really want to move out of Bellingham. It's a nice enough town, but I've lived here for 13 years. That is way too long in one place for me. My wanderlust has been kicked high gear the past few years, and I want outta here. As soon as possible.
I'm pretty convinced that if we sold our car & bought an RV that we'd be set for life... we'd be able to travel & take our home with us. That is my dream come true, but probably not going to happen for a while. ^-^
So for now, we're working hard and saving our pennies so that we can move. It's not going to be October 1st, like we'd planned... but it will happen. Sooner rather than later.
Until then, I'll keep working and occasionally sleeping and doing fun stuff anywhere in between that I can fit it.
Maybe one of these days I'll actually be brave enough to share with y'all guys some of the things I want to be and do... but I'm not quite there yet. Being open and honest with myself is difficult enough at the moment. Baby steps... ^_~
Well I guess I can share one goal I have... I'd like to blog once a week, and then take a bit of time each week to catch up with all the wonderful people I've lost touch with. I miss you guys. Really, truly. So that's what I'm working on at the moment... so hopefully I'll come stalk your blogs soon.
My plan for today, however, is to sleep once I'm done at the hospital tonight. I get off at 0130 (tomorrow morning, technically...), and will have been up since 0230 this morning. I did get a nap in from 1300-1430 this afternoon, and I am ingesting copious amounts of caffeine, so I'm pretty sure I won't be found drooling onto my keyboard...
Anywhom. I love & adore & miss you all. I will come pester you soon...
Oh. And it's almost Fall. Are you as excited as I am? I already have a few wee pumpkins on the plant stand by my front door... I simply cannot wait. I am bursting with excitement. =D