Archive

Hey there, so glad you popped by! I've moved to a new address, however, and you can find my new blog at: The Weaver's Apprentice as of Monday, January 26, 2015. I hope you'll come visit me there! See you soon! XOXO

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Sometimes I hate coming up with titles...

Unless I have a particularly witty or catchy title, or it's something obvious like, "Garden Pics", I'm always at a loss for a title... mostly because I'm rambling about whatever. Oh well.

Has it really only been two months since I posted last? Yeah, but it feels like ages. So much as happened, and none of it the things that were supposed to have happened... but that's a long story and I kind of need to get to bed at some point tonight.

Fortunately I am back to working one job instead of three. My cats now remember who I am and my sanity is at least somewhat intact. ^-^

Britt graduated with her LPN and has a nifty job at Planned Parenthood. She loves it there. ^-^

We're still eventually moving to Portland so I can go to school and learn to be a pastry chef, but it'll happen in it's time. Not June and probably not November either (that was Plan B...). I'm really bummed about waiting, but we can't move until certain things are taken care of (like getting a car that runs... another long story.)

I am slowly picking up the pieces of me that I let go while I was doing nothing but working and occasionally sleeping these past few months. I nearly had a panic attack a few weeks ago because when I paused to look up at the moon, which usually draws me in with her beauty and I can feel an almost tug in my chest, I felt nothing. Nada. I felt dead. It was like I had worked so hard at shielding from any kind of emotion that might get in the way of working insane hours, that I'd totally cut myself off from everything. I was walking the couple miles home from work at the hospital and cried and cried. I needed to get myself sorted out and make time for the things I not only love, but the things I need to be okay.

So that's about where I am right now. Slowly rebuilding myself, unlocking the doors I'd locked and feelings I'd locked away while I did nothing but work so we could survive and keep our apartment. All the craziness and shit was worth it though. Britt graduated with a 4.0 GPA and got an amazing job she loves. We're doing alright again and I'm adjusting to my new work schedule (yet another long story...), but working evening shift sucks ass... I miss my night shift! o_o

Alrighty then... I've dipped my toe back in the blogging pool... so now all I have to do is figure out all this new layout and shit... Have I mentioned I hate change sometimes? Like when they rearrange my grocery store or blogging site, and I end up completely lost for several weeks... lolz.

I'm off to bed now so I can hopefully be up at a decent time in the morning. Nighty night, I've missed all y'all terribly and I am super happy to have time to do the things that make me happy again. ^-^

XOXO

6 comments:

  1. Yay! You're back! I thought you were absent due to moving out of state. Sorry those plans didn't quite work out yet.

    I really understand that numbness and locked away feeling. I'm kind of there now thanks to burnout from work. It had been such a good year until a few months ago, then we were right back to the hell we refer to as last year. It's easier to lock it all away than climb up to the rooftop with a slingshot and a sack of dog shit. :)

    Take gentle care of yourself. HUGE congrats to Brit and her GPA, graduation, and job. No wonder you're numb, you've been hanging out in a hurricane.

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  2. Um, I just realized I signed in under my pen name. *facepalm.
    This is Karen from Life in the Dyke Lane.

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  3. Welcome back! Congratulations to Britt on her job at Planned Parenthood! That's awesome. I'm glad you're starting to feel better and are only working one job. Three! Poor you :( *hugs* Nice to get an update from you!

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  4. *big huge hugs ans squoozes* Sister, do I ever know what you mean about the moon making you cry for all the wrong reasons. I've been having the same issues, right down to the near panic attack.

    I'm glad you're getting back to you. I know I'm not on twitter much these days (I honestly haven't had the time to log in for at least two months) but if you ever need me, I'm literally a tweet away; I get @'s as texts on my phone. <3

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  5. Sounds like you were in survival mode. It's there for a reason and now that you are living rather than just surviving you will ease back into a Spiritually guided life as if you never left. She was there the whole time, waiting for you to be ready.

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  6. i worked a job once ( just one, but it was a bad one) that totally sucked the life out of me. it sucked all the creativity and fun out of me...and it took me a long time to not only realize i was dead inside but to also find my inner child and creativity again. but, it did happen...the best thing you can do for that is to acknowledge it has happened and start repairing the damage - which it sounds like you have done!!
    congrats to britt!! that's awesome and so glad she's working at planned parenthood!! whooo hoo!
    good luck with the new schedule and sorry about the move being postponed - but it will happen!!
    hug those kitties every day!!

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Out with it!