Hey there, so glad you popped by! I've moved to a new address, however, and you can find my new blog at: The Weaver's Apprentice as of Monday, January 26, 2015. I hope you'll come visit me there! See you soon! XOXO

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Community Garden & The Church

I went to my first meeting this evening for the community garden that a local Lutheran church is planning. I'm terribly excited, as I've been wanting something like this for a while, but didn't know how to start/where to start. Now it's started, with people who have land, resources, etc. & I'm super stoked! It's still in the planning phase, but they're moving quickly so we can plant this Spring. ^-^ I'm hoping I'll be able to get a plot, as I'm very limited on what I can grow on my porch (it faces North & doesn't get much sun...) but would love to grow more veggies.

After the meeting, which went wonderfully, we had dinner with some of the other church members who were there for choir practice, etc.

I suppose I should back up & say that one of my best friend's (Lauren's) family belong to this church, and that's how I was notified about the garden.

So I ate dinner, which was tasty, with Joe, Renee & Katie, Lauren's parents & sister, and then Renee asked me if I was going to stay for the service.

Service? o_O

Apparently they have a 15 minute song & prayer service every Wednesday. I can only imagine my deer-in-the-headlights look...

Renee said she'd really love it if I stayed, so I stammered something & she told me to go sit with Jessie (who is super nice & friendly), but who I don't really know at all. I was going to stay, just to be nice & make Renee happy (she's like a second mom to me...), but once I walked into the sanctuary, my chest got so tight I was having trouble breathing. So I gave her & Joe hugs & told them I had to be getting home.

I would dearly love to know why the prospect of sitting through a church service (even a short one) gives me an anxiety attack. I feel utterly ridiculous. I grew up going to church every Sunday, from infancy through high school. But I feel such an aversion to being a part of a service, that it's something I feel physically. And I feel terribly silly because of it. >_<

So here I sit, still feeling like I'm going to toss my cookies, waiting for my coffee to warm up so I can cuddle with a nice, big mug & chill the fuck out.

It's times like this I think I might need therapy for issues from spending my childhood as a Christian, amongst other things pertaining to Christianity that give me anxiety or panic attacks... And I feel utterly foolish.

Especially because these are some of the nicest people I know. At least I know it's not them, but rather the institution of The Church that I have the issue with. Whatever my issues, I still feel like a ninny. But off to my coffee & perhaps to go snuggle Britt before she heads off to work for the night & I do homework & clean.

Here's hoping y'all are having a wonderful Wednesday! ^-^



  1. My parents want you to be on the committee/board for the garden, so I'm sure you'll be able to get a plot. They need people who aren't members of the church on the board and participating in the project in order to get the funding they need. So if you tell them you want a plot, I'm sure you'll be good to go.

  2. I have the same affliction, but it's not the thought of sitting through a service that does it for me because I can do that no problem. The parts that make me uncomfortable are when everyone participates in things, like sacrament and communion and I pass. I know I *could* go along with it, but I'd feel equally uncomfortable doing so.

  3. I hope the community garden thing works out. Sounds like fun, don't think I've seen anywhere off TV that does it anymore around here. I am hoping we finally get the land beside us done up for a veggie garden this year.
    It can be hard to pin point the exact reason for an anxiety attack over something like that. Maybe some meditation would make things a little clearer?


Out with it!