Hey there, so glad you popped by! I've moved to a new address, however, and you can find my new blog at: The Weaver's Apprentice as of Monday, January 26, 2015. I hope you'll come visit me there! See you soon! XOXO

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Warpaint - Stars

Carmen passed on about four hours ago. I found out about two hours ago at the nightly bed meeting, when the MCU charge nurse mentioned that she had two deceased patients on her floor. Afterward, I asked if one of them was Carmen & she said yes. She was rather upset that she'd been the one to tell me, as none of the other family had the presence of mind to let either Britt or myself know. I told her not to worry, as we'd been expecting it.
We went to see her after work yesterday morning. By that time, she'd thankfully been hooked up the morphine drip & wasn't in nearly as much pain. She also wasn't awake, but her eyes opened when I gave her forehead a kiss before we left.
I told her to rest & that I'd be back tonight, as I'd planned on sitting with her on my lunch break to keep her company. I thought perhaps I'd read to her a bit. I didn't get the chance, but I'm happy for her to be out of pain. I'm thankful she went quickly and quietly. It is a blessing.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Tonight is leaving me a bit subdued. One of Britt's uncle's sisters is in the ER right now, going to be admitted as a comfort care patient & won't be leaving the hospital. She was diagnosed with cancer (I'm not sure which kind) a few months ago, and it's apparently a rather aggressive form.

I felt aweful becuase when I went down to see her, I looked in the room & thought I'd gone to the wrong one... She used to be so tiny with long black hair... Now she's bald from all the chemo & probably doubled in weight. I didn't recognize her.

Even though we aren't close, I still know her & her kids pretty well. I like her a lot & it hurts to see those I love in pain.

She was telling Marci, her daughter, that all she wants is to have the doctor put her to sleep & not wake up. It breaks my heart she's in such pain that she wishes nothing more than to die.

Last time she was in the ER, she told Britt that the day before, she'd been out playing basket ball with her grand kids, and now she's just like Mel.

I'm worried about Britt, as she's still not fully recovered from Aunty Mel's death.

My head hurts... In a day or two or three, Carmen will fly free. So I mourn a little for her, but mostly for her family.

To make matters worse, one of Carmen & Uncle Herman's brothers really hates white people... Britt went up to see how her family was doing when another of Uncle Herman's brothers was in the ICU, only for him to try & kick her out, demanding to know who she was, what she was doing there, etc. He's in the ER waiting room now, was kinda horrible to her when she went out to check on the rest of the family & refuses to talk or look at her. Sensless hatred like this... I just don't understand. She's upset about it too, which makes me even more upset. I can't comprehend hating someone I don't know, who has never wronged me or my loved ones. I just don't get it. My heart breaks for him.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Can I go home yet???

Oooo... All the fun ideas popping into my head...

A candy tin re-painted to be my new pill box...

A doll made from ceramic odds & ends from the RE Store...

Perhaps some more dolls... made of muslin & clay...

I fully agree with miss Zedral Z... We both need to be a lazy creative housewives... XD


More art journal pages are waiting for flow forth from my finger tips & glue sticks...

I'm still working on the purse for my sister that I'm crocheting. I'm hoping to get it finished by tomorrow. I want to send her a box of stuff for her birthday... I have the box all painted, the purse almost finished & I want to make some candles or bath stuff for her to relax with. ^-^

Perhaps I'll even get it to her on time this year... lol...

Well then, back to work... ^-^

It figures...

...That the day I decide to go into work early to cover a sick call, I suddenly want to do nothing but stay home & make things... lmao... Isn't that how it always works? Well that's how it works for me, at an rate. =P

I think I'm also feeling a bit panicked, as we're going to Portland to visit friends this weekend, so I won't have much time to do anything else. Boo. But I'm glad to go visit, so I won't complain too terribly much... ^_~

Besides, I still have Wednesday & Thursday to craft. Wednesday is official "Herb Harvesting Day" here, as my mints are getting out of hand... o_O

Well then... I had better go find something suitable to wear to work... flannel PJ pants & my most favorite plaid flannel shirt won't cut it I'm afraid... ^-^

Have an awesome evening my darlings, and perhaps I'll pop back in later. ^-^


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mmmmm... Brownies... ^-^

Mmmmm... Brownies... So. Tasty. ^-^

And now that dessert's finished, I'm baking fish for dinner. Yay! I'm about to get up & go boil some cauliflower so I can make mashed cauliflower, but thought I'd pop by here first. ^-^

I'm feeling decidedly less pessimistic than last night... which is good. I don't know how much despair I deal with if I can't bring myself back up out of it... Anywho...

Back to work tonight & the five nights after... but then a week off again! I love my schedule... ^-^

I can feel the Autumn in the air! I love the Summer, don't get me wrong, but I love Fall... So very, very much! ^-^

It rained a bit today, which it hasn't for a while, but since it was daylight, there was no naked dancing... sigh...

Still working on the purse I'm crocheting... and I bought yarn the other day for the one I'm going to make for my mom. I'm excited... =D

I've been feeling the desire to spin again, so I'm brining my spindle to work with me tonight... I can't wait until I can get a spinning wheel! ^-^

Britt's been kinda down today, but I think the brownies are working their magic... ^_~ Brownies imbued with love & happiness... you just can't go wrong!

Well then... I'd better get to the cauliflower if I'm going to mash it... Perhaps I'll be in later tonight though. Have a good night my lovelies! ^-^


omg... cooking cauliflower = stinky... @_@

Rant warning...

I'm feeling drained... And terribly frustrated. And powerless. And angry. Really. Fucking. Angry.

On top of this, I am now certain that my camera is toast... le sigh... -_- #

Back to my frustration... I've been reading a book by Starhawk, one of my all time fav authours. Dreaming the Dark: Magic, Sex & Politics. I'm about half way through, and I'm really liking this book. If you haven't read it, go out, buy a copy, borrow a copy from someone, whatever & read it. Please.

Again, back to the frustration... Over the past year at my job, amoung other areas of my life, I've been forced to come to terms again & again with the apparent fact that just becuase we're necessary, doesn't mean we're important.

This has made it even more difficult for me to like my rather dislikeable job, and not flat out hate it.

This is making me angry, as I see it all over the hospital. Power-over... People treating other people as if they don't matter based on what job they do.

In order for our hospital to run well, every single person employed here is both necessary and important. That is why our very jobs exhist.

I see this every day, everywhere I look. And I don't know how to change anything but myself. I know that I can't change anyone but myself.

In all honesty, however, I am scared to lose my job. I have a good job for going to school that pays ok & has benifits. I'm terrified of losing this. I almost lost it the last time I stood up & said that I refused to be walked all over, when I insisted that I too mattered. That I was important...

I'm at a loss here. I don't know how to change things, because those in power do not want things changed. It would mean less money, less power for the few. And that terrifies those with said money & power.

I'm kind of rambling here, because I don't have all the thoughts sorted out in my head yet... I have somewhat vague, half formed thoughts flitting about, ranting, raging around in me...

The biggest thing I have an issue with, I think, is that I don't know what to do to make things better... To make things right.
In a place where care of people is supposed to be paramount, seeing all this bullshit, all the bad decisions being made due to "the budget" is maddening.

Charge nurses shorting their units to save money. Managers doing the same thing. Managers who are so out of touch with what's going on in their unit. People who just don't give a flying fuck.

There is no sense of community, no sense of compassion. We have no morale, so to speak of.

And I'm just so frustrated. And I feel so powerless. And I don't know how to fix things, even the things that I personally am capable of fixing. And that, THAT, is what makes me so angry.

I don't feel like I'm finished here... But I'm at a loss for what to say...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

An excuse & a Request...

And so now that I'm all back to my usual bloggy self, my camera, naturally, isn't working... @_@
I'm hoping it's just in need of a change of batteries, but I'm not so sure... It was acting up when Britt took it to the concert the other night, and so it may be more than that. We shall see...

In other news, send your good vibes & positive energy on over to Alexz at Spooky Pooky Creations. Her kitten, Pigwidgeon, has gone for a stroll & hasn't found her way home yet... As a cat lover & multiple cat mom, there are few things worse than not knowing where one of your fur babies is... My cat got outside once and was missing for two days... some of the worst days of my life. I luckily found him in the basement, hiding in the root cellar... poor terrified fluff ball...
But yes, please send all the positive energies you can to her & her kitten, and hopefully Pigwidgeon will find her way back home sooner rather than later. ^-^


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

An Award... ^-^

Alrighty then... After a rather longer break than I intended, here's the first of two posts for the night! =D

Roisin over at Child of Danu was kind enough to give me the Versatile Blogger Award. Whee! ^-^ So without further ado, I kindly thank you, Roisin, for reading & enjoying my ramblings & now off to fulfill the four thingies in need of fulfilling!

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the Versatile Blogger Award.

See above, and if you didn't already click on the link above, click HERE

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

This part is always the most difficult for me... Hmmm...

1) I'm uber paranoid about putting any kind of personal info online... it took a lot for me to put my first name on my blogger profile... lol...

2) I'm going to school to be an RN (Some days it feels like I'll never be finished... @_@)

3) I dream of being a full time artist/crafter/mess-maker

4) I've lived in seven states & two countries

5) I finally got my septum (of my nose) pierced about a week ago. Yay!!!

6) I frequently have dreams involving some sort of zombie apocalypse... o_O

7) I hate flying in airplanes... I didn't when I was little, but now I do. Perhaps if I was flying the plane it would be a different story... hmmm...

3. Pass the Versatile Blogger Award along to 10 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason!

Role Call!!! (In no particular order...) =D

1) Amber Leilani at Yellow Flower
2) Nichola Battilana at Knickertwist's
3) Leeanna at Can We Have a New Witch? Ours Melted
4) Michelle at Chocolate & Marmalade Tea
5) Cellar Door at I Hope They Have Pudding
6) Luna Petunia at Spelled With a W
7) Griselda at Spirit Dolls & Mix Media Assemblage
8) Zedral Z at Witchin' in the Kitchen
9) Zombie Queen at Zombie Queen's Everyday Adventures
10) Maggi at Just Add Glitter & Stir

4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the Versatile Blogger Award.

Bloggers contacted... check!

Whew! Who knew this was going to be so labor intensive??? ^_~

Alrighty... I'm off to find my camera so I can finally post the pics of the goodies I got! Stay tuned, my darlings, for I'll be back!

But first I'm going to finish my episode of Baccano & eat my mini blackberry-peach pie... ^-^

Monday, August 23, 2010

Morning Quickie... ^-^

Just a quick pop in to say "Hi!" and that I'll be back later... for a post or two... There's an award to be shared (fun, fun!) and pictures to be posted of the magic & awesomeness that came in my box from New Orleans, one of the most magical places on Earth! =D

Right now, however, I'm about to get back to my cleaning... My place is a bit... um... messy. o_O

The koffee's on & Damh the Bard is spinning tales from my speakers, so I'm off to make my house look less like a natural disaster area & more like a place where two women & three cats reside (oh wait, I said less like a natural disaster area... XD)

See y'all soon! ^-^

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Ahem... yes, that was me, waking my neighbors with my squeals of delight tonight... I opened my door to leave for work, stepped outside & found...


I'm so excited, I could pop. Not even that fact that my software at work is down & I can't do any work can dampen my mood! ^-^

I shall post pics of the awesome stuff contained within the box of epic awesomeness as soon as I have access to my camera.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could just head home now & then come back when everything's back up & running??? Yes... I suppose I shall sit here & read my book for now... And giggle with delight every few minutes thinking about the Pixie Sticks & other goodies that are in my car... =D


Monday, August 16, 2010

*Rant warning...* o_O

Searching for the balance between work & creativity again. So far, the balance still eludes me...

Stressing out because I haven't been able to access my online class for three days... I've tried my computer at home & at work, my work computer & then Britt's computer at home again, still no luck. I have a test due tonight by 2300... I emailed my professor to let him know & see if anyone else was having this issue. I'm going to head into the college in the morning to try & use the library's computer if I can't get in tonight. I wanted to have this test finished three days ago, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Sigh. -__- #

Frustrated with shit at work. Trying not to lose entirely the happiness, peacefulness, etc. from my vacation, but at this rate, I'm going to need a three week vacation after every week I work. Sigh...

Having communication problems with the missus... I can't seem to say what I mean. Things keep getting lost in translation, so to speak. I don't know how to fix this. I'm beginning to wish I was mute, at least part time...

It's been so hot the past few days that neither of us have been sleeping well.

I'm confused as to what the fuck is going on with my garden. The little zucchini & the little baby pumpkin that were both doing so well both just up & rotted. I have no idea why. I haven't been getting water on anything but the dirt in the pot (paranoid about making the leaves mold...) & they were fine the day before when I watered everything. Then today when I went out to water the garden, they were all icky & mooshy & brown... What. The. HELL...

I'm beginning to feel like my tenuous hold on things is slipping a bit, and I have no idea how to make things better.

I need to clean my house, and I think that the mess & disorder are part of my problem. Perhaps I'll focus on fixing my space and things will fall in step. I have no idea, but it's a good place to begin. Even if it doesn't help anything else, a clean house will make me feel better simply because it's clean. ^-^

And now to staffing the hospital for day shift... even though I don't have nearly enough living bodies to staff it with... o_O

I cannot wait to get home & zen a bit. I'm going to make a pot of tea while it's still cool enough outside to want to drink something warm ^_~
I'm going to sit in the garden & watch the spiders some more. I'm going to water said garden, and then I shall clean a bit before heading to the college. I'll fix this shit one thing at a time...

Alrighty... now back to staffing... and my energy drink. ^-^

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Soooo... Back at work for night four out of my seven... Not looking forward to the morning, as staffing looks rather grim... where am I going to come up with enough people??? o_O

Oh well... I'll just make a bunch more phone calls & see what I can wrangle up. ^-^

Had a long but good day today helping a friend move. I never knew hot tubs were so heavy... omg... @___@

We got all the big furniture moved over & the hot tub too, as well as most of her boxes. Yay!

Kind of just rambling here, as I've still not gotten any caffeine & my brain's higher functions are still in hibernation mode. As soon as bed meeting's finished I'm getting some coffee... A LOT of coffee... ^-^

Alrighty... since I'm staring with glazed eyes & a blank mind at my computer screen, I'm going to go get coffee now instead of in 20 minutes.

Hope all y'all are having a good night, and perhaps I'll be back later, hopefully feeling more human... (as I currently can be classified as "Zombie")


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Morning Koffee...

Yup... I'm sitting here, sipping koffee & typing. Ah, bliss...

I started felting pumpkins this morning after I got home from work. Yes, I found the felting needles! Yay! =D

Where, you may ask???

Well, I looked in the drawer I usually put them in &...


yup... there they were. Just sitting there, right where they were supposed to be... o_O
Now who put them away in the proper place???


Anywho. I've begun felting pumpkins, and I'm happier than a pig in mud. ^-^

I suppose I should have ingested something a little... less caffeinated... perhaps, as I intend to go to bed now that I've cooked & eaten breakfast, but oh well... I only had one little cup... ^-^

I suppose I really ought to get to bed now... I've got belly dancing this evening & then work again tonight.

Ooooo... Since Britt's off on a hike with one of her friends, I get the whole bed to myself... Mmmmm... I sense a ginormous flop & stretch coming on...

Nighty night!


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Daydreams, koffee & rambles...

Mmmmmm... Lazy Summer days, dreaming of Autumn... ^-^

I'm glad for the sun & the warmth, though, so that my tiny little veggies can get bigger. I think they need a bit more sunshine before the crisp Autumn air arrives... but I'm still impatient. ^_~

I was daydreaming today about sweatshirts & flannel shirts, scarves & gloves. Of pumpkins & brightly colored leaves. Of the chilling wind that whistles through the newly naked trees... Of cider & hot cocoa with mint. Of pies & breads, stews & soups.

Ah what lovely daydreams I had! ^-^

But back to the present (for now...)

*quick intermission in which I run to the store for creamer...*

Aaaaand I'm back! Got sugar free vanilla for my honey & Italian Almond Cream & Peppermint Mocha for moi. ^-^

Sipping koffee now, and just being generally happy.

Ah yes. I should probably mention why I go back & forth between "coffee" & "koffee".
Well! It goes way back to high school, before the missus & I were an "us"... We were taking Japanese classes at the community college with three of our friends. My younger brother & his friends had jokingly all aligned themselves with various mafias from around the globe. We thought this was a fantastically fun game, so we took it a step further & created our very own mafia... the coffee mafia, which when written in katakana roughly translates, when written in Roman characters, into "Koohii maahii".

SO! When I'm out drinking coffee or at someone's house drinking coffee, it's "coffee". When either Britt or I make it at home (or where ever), it's "koffee". That & we make ours about triple (at least) the strength most people do. ^-^

If you can't tell, I'm in a kind of rambling mood today... this is more like a stream of consciousness post, there's no real point here. ^_~

Yesterday I got some wonderful roving from Northwest Yarns with the intention of making some more felted pumpkins... only I can't find my felting needles. -_-# If anyone has any ideas as to where I put them (or where my cats hid the pack of them...), Please let me know...

I also got not one, but TWO packages in the mail today! Huzzah!!! I got my ear tunnels that I ordered & my Veronica Varlow t-shirt, which is my new goal shirt. I figure by the next 20 lbs I lose (I've lost 22 already!) it'll fit like a glove! Sexiness! =D

Yeesh... I'm just in such a good mood, I can't stand it! =P

That is one of my goals for when I go back to work (tonight...). I want to keep these feelings of happiness, joy, contentment & peace with me as I get done with my vacation. I've had such a wonderful three weeks off, I'm almost scared to go back to the place that so easily triggers negativity. But I'm determined! Determined not to fall back into old ruts, old behaviors & old feelings of anger, resentment & general negativity. So there. Ha! ^-^

I'm going to let my office be a place of peacefulness & serenity. It will be good. ^-^

I suppose I've typed y'alls ears off enough for the moment... so I'm off to take a gander at Knickertwist's re-vamped site! Come with me, won't you? =D
She's got some supremely awesome stuff over in her neck of the woods. It's totally worth the trip! ^-^

Here's to hoping everyone has a most wonderful rest of their evening & night. ^-^


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Attack of the Squash People!

Good morning to all you wonderful people out there in the aether! =D

I was not planning on being up this early, but I dropped my lovely womyn off at DVSAS, where she volunteers, with the full intent of going back to bed when I got home... Alas, this did not happen. I was suddenly no longer sleepy. Sigh...

So! I put the kettle on, made myself a nice big pot of tea (yes, I get a whole pot to myself... I am supremely lucky...) and here I sit.

I went out to the porch garden this morning to water the few plants that didn't get rained on, ended up rearranging the pumpkin corner (my one pumpkin plant was growing off the side of my porch & down into my neighbors' porch below... @_@) and found a baby pumpkin!!! I'm so excited I may just explode! It's got lots of blooms, but up until this morning I hadn't seen any fruit (veggies, whatever...)

Our mini pumpkin plant also has two, yes TWO, wee little pumpkins on it's vines.

And my zucchini... Holy moly, it's going to town! =D

If you've never read Attack of the Squash People by Marge Piercy, I'm including it below. It's one of my favorite poems. It can be found in her book of poems, The Moon is Always Female.

Attack of the Squash People

And thus the people every year
in the valley of humid July
did sacrifice themselves
to the long green phallic god
and eat and eat and eat.
They're coming, they're on us,
the long striped gourds, the silky
babies, the hairy adolescents,
the lumpy vast adults
like the trunks of green elephants.
Recite fifty zucchini recipes!

Zucchini tempura; creamed soup;
sauté with olive oil and cumin,
tomatoes, onion; frittata;
casserole of lamb; baked
topped with cheese; marinated;
stuffed; stewed; driven
through the heart like a stake.

Get rid of old friends: they too
have gardens and full trunks.
Look for newcomers: befriend
them in the post office, unload
on them and run. Stop tourists
in the street. Take truckloads
to Boston. Give to your Red Cross.
Beg on the highway: please
take my zucchini, I have a crippled
mother at home with heartburn.

Sneak out before dawn to drop
them in other people's gardens,
in baby buggies at churchdoors.
Shot, smuggling zucchini into
mailboxes, a federal offense.

With a suave reptilian glitter
you bask among your raspy
fronds sudden and huge as
alligators. You give and give
too much, like summer days
limp with heat, thunderstorms
bursting their bags on our heads,
as we salt and freeze and pickle
for the too little to come.

Marge Piercy

It makes me happy... =D

Well then... My cherry tomatoes are doing ok, my other tomato is not & my Purple Cherokee tomato... well, we'll just have to wait & see if she produces anything but blooms. Sad bee shortage...

Wow... it's so quiet. ^-^ Macha is napping by the back door, hoping I'll take her out onto the porch with me so she can maul the catnip... again... o_O Probably not today...
On second thought, there's a squirrel... I'm taking all three of my furry little monsters out with me!!!

Going to finish this cup of tea, go outside & harvest some basil, spearmint & peppermint & then perhaps work on my art journal a bit...

Hope you all have a most lovely & wonderful day! ^-^

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Dance Party at my Place...

For some reason I'm awake... o_O So I got up, ate some melon I had sliced earlier, poked about online, got up from my computer, turned out all the lights & went & danced naked in the rain on my porch. =D
It was blissful... *happySigh...*
Alrighty... I'm off to go dance some more in the rain. It's been a while since we've had rain, and I'm going to make the most of it! ^-^

Sounds like fun? Well, my darlings, it is. Feeling brave? Then come on over & join me! =D

Hope everyone is having a wonderful, magic filled night...


Update 0025
Dancing moved inside due to awesome thunder & lightning!!! =D

One down, one to go...

Yup... My last math exam finished... but I'll be going back tomorrow to voluntarily retake my third exam, which I didn't get the best grade on. Hazzah for re-takes! =D

Then I'll be finished with Pre-Calculus I... and then onto II & then Calculus. I like math, so this isn't a big deal, but I'm so ready to be finished with school for a while.

Psychology will be finished August 17th, or before if I get all my stuff turned in early (which is what I'm shooting for...), and then a break until about mid-September, when Fall quarter begins.

I've been up for a little over 24 hours... but I'm still so caffeinated from all the coffee I had this morning at the Horseshoe I can't sleep... o_O

After my exam today, I stopped on my way back to my car & picked a ton of Lavender... It took up two & a half vases... =D

I looooove Lavender...

I then went & watered my garden, said hello to all my ladybugs & spiders, glared at the aphids I found, picked them off and then went back inside. It's so nice out, I almost can't bear the thought of going to bed in my dark little room... Perhaps I'll go nap on the porch... ^-^

Well then... I'm off to nap somewhere, as I've homework to finish & studying to do for my make up exam tomorrow. Nighty night! ^-^

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Aurora seeking...

Heading out to the county to see if we can see the Aurora Borealis tonight with Heather & Britt. Have I ever mentioned how much I love mobile posting? =D

Update... 0251
Um, I think we may have seen a bit of the lights, but then again it may have just been the Lynden/Sumas city lights... o_O

Had a nice time driving around with Heather, Britt & Crystal though.

We parked a few times on deserted country roads & spread our blankets beneath the velvety black sky. We met up with Grace on the outskirts of Lynden to see if we could see the lights better.

I watched the moon come up, a glorious, bloody-red sickle in the sky. Watched her rise higher & higher, til she shone down on us from above, bathing us in dark golden beams.

I gazed at stars I usually can't see due to the city lights, and loved every minute we were outside. Why don't I do this stuff more often? I think I shall have to start...

Mini update & a button...

So my parents came & have now gone again. It was a very nice visit & they ended up spending two nights at our place. My mom put together a little book of old family photos, as I love stuff like that, and can never have enough. ^-^

In other news, look on my side bar & grab my button if you so desire. =D

Aaaaannd I just realized it's 2100 & my test is due by 2300, so I'm off to finish that & perhaps I'll be back later. ^-^

Monday, August 02, 2010


Having kinda a bummed out day... and my usual music that makes me feel better isn't working. I'll have to try something else.

I was going to work on my paper that's due tonight (almost done...), only to realize that I have another quiz in math today that I need to study for. I'm a bit behind in homework & am starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm sick of being in school & just want to be done... sigh. Soon, but not soon enough.


Well then... Back to making math notes for the quiz. Hoping I'll feel better after that's over. ^-^