Archive

Hey there, so glad you popped by! I've moved to a new address, however, and you can find my new blog at: The Weaver's Apprentice as of Monday, January 26, 2015. I hope you'll come visit me there! See you soon! XOXO

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sigh... Britt & I had a pretty good day today. We went and walked around Boulevard Park, drinking large amounts of tea & enjoying the ocean & the breeze. We meandered down the paths to Fairhaven, poked about in a few shops and then headed back to our car. It was a lovely evening, which turned into a lovely night. ^-^ Now we're home, getting ready to gear up for some uber cleaning... as we're about to have a bunch of people staying over Sunday night after we all go out for 'Fetish Night' at Rumors. My computer's down with a virus, oh nasty, vicious thing... -_- #, so we'll be relying on Britt's for cleaning music. Hmm...

Unfortunately, I am not in the "Cleaning" kinda mood... I'd rather sit curled up in a chair with a pot of tea, reading some of my new books... sigh... I suppose I can do that after I've cleaned a bit...

I've been super bummed out lately about my family... I'm angry that they had to move away. My brother is the only one who actually seems to like me for me, so the rest of this isn't about him, but rather my parents & sister...

I'm angry that it seems that they don't miss ME, but rather the "me" they wish I was. I'm frustrated that I can't seem to be close to my sister, no matter what I do, as I can't just be myself around her. She doesn't approve... I offend her...

I see people with their families and pictures of them with siblings, and my heart aches. I feel orphaned.

I love Britt's family, and am eternally grateful that they've been so accepting of me. I love her parents, despite everything that's happened in the past. But they're still not my family. And I feel, once again, so very alone. Abandoned.

I wish that my family still lived nearby. But I'm afraid that even if they did, they still wouldn't like me for who I am & am still becoming. I'm worried that they wouldn't understand me, and things would be even more awkward than they are now.

I still have hopes that my brother & parents might move back to this part of the country. And I would LOVE that. Especially my brother. ^_^ He & I always have so much fun together... we're cut from the same cloth, love the same stuff...

I don't think my sister will ever leave Iowa. Her husband's family is there, and it's going to take something phenomenal to get him out from under his mother's thumb... my poor sister... -_-;

Anywho... I suppose that's enough sad stuff for tonight... Off to cleaning, then to the Horseshoe in the morning for breakfast & math homework.

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